Texting after first dates

alphaonthecomeup · 2020-08-08T03:48:37+00:00

I say, “me too babe, let’s do it again soon.”

This applies to first time hookups as well.

If I haven’t received a text by early afternoon the next day I initiate with a “had fun last night, let’s do it again soon.”

You will usually always get a response whether she’s into actually meeting up again or not. If you don’t get one, then soft next.

If she responds positively then she has opened the door for you.

Do you wait for them to text you after this?

No. As the male, you are the one who is supposed to push things forward.

I usually wait 2-3 days. Long enough for her to start wondering about whether you are going to reach out again but not long enough for her to forget about you and move on.

Right around the three day mark is the sweet spot in my opinion.

I then text a greeting with a playful pet name specific to something about her or something generic like “dork” and ask what she’s up to.

She will respond with playful banter or laughter and ask the same of me. I will respond with something fun I’m heading to do, and offer a future fun thing she should join me for in the next few days (with a specific day and time).

If she responds in anyway other than an enthusiastic yes, soft next.

If she responds enthusiastically, I say, “sounds good babe, gotta run, see ya Saturday” or whenever the date is set for.

She will usually message to confirm the day of. Don’t fuck that convo up. Your work is done so don’t diffuse the lovely tension you have built over a few days of her getting excited about seeing you by talking with her for more than logistics.

When she messages to confirm, just say “Yep we’re still on, see ya at 8” or whatever makes sense. The confidence will ooze out. The value will swell. Her excitement will be uncontainable.

If she sounds at all flakey ever, just hit her with the takeaway “no worries girl, maybe we can do it some other time.” and walk. She will rethink and make it happen if she knows what’s good for her. Or at the very least offer a reschedule day and time if something really did come up. If she doesn’t, soft next.

If she bails last minute and you’re feeling ballsy (which you should be) you can try my own patented move, “are you really going to stand me up, or are you going to come meet me and have some fun?”

It’s going nuclear. It will either work or you’ll never hear from her again. I’ve got good stats with this one when applied to newer girls I’ve either slept with once or not at all. It polarizes the situation and makes her make a value judgement right then and there. Who the fuck would say something like that other than a guy who is worth his weight in gold and gives no fucks whether he sees you again or not.

Hope this helps. Happy hunting.

IdleLobster · 2020-08-08T02:35:12+00:00

This is like an age-old question that always gets circlejerked on this forum. I’ve seen 2 trending schools of thought that always seem to reoccur when this gets asked - pick which one works for you:

1) don’t text her immediately to set up another date (it will make you look too invested) / let her chase you / don’t ever commit the alleged mortal sin of double texting / let your last text to her just simmer to keep her hamster wheel spinning until she can’t take it anymore and reaches out to you

OR

2) stop overthinking it / text however and whenever you fucking want / a true alpha wouldn’t worry about how she interprets your texts (you are the commodity here, not her) / if you did a good job escalating on the date - she is already into you and can’t wait to set up the next time she gets to see you

Note: I’m not arguing one school of thought over the other, just laying out the two trends I have noticed. Pick your poison

jedd101 · 2020-08-08T14:08:41+00:00

At the end of a date/hookup I'll just tell them to hit me up when they want to catch up again. Normally they'll do so with just a "hi" then it's on me to set it up from there.

catz123456 · 2020-08-08T15:47:55+00:00

Most girls who are interested after the first date will message first. There's a small percentage that will wait for you to message. Usually the shy ones. So if you truly think the date went well, no harm is messaging first.

Title	Texting after first dates
Author	FromTheCaveIntoLight
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	August 7, 2020 9:48 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/i5mw8a/texting_after_first_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/texting-after-first-dates.59025 https://theredarchive.com/post/59025

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