I swear as weird as this might be. this is not a troll. And I’m not happy to admit this.

last night I got wasted and was fucking around with my girl. And when she was blowing me she stuck her finger in my ass. I didn’t stop her. And am embarrassed to admit I liked it.

She could tell I liked it and after everything. I just laid there Bc it made me feel less masculine I guess (not sure how to describe it). She brought up that it’s our secret and I just ignored it.

Now that I’m sober I feel like a weirdo for enjoying it and even letting her do it. And God Forbid we ever split or she goes around telling people.

As embarrassing for me as this is. How do I handle that if it were ever to happen. And how do I hand her if she were to bring it up to me again?