I have 500+ matches (in 1yr of autoswipe + some boosts). I tend to write 2-5 messages and then ask for number/date. Often get an answer back just to get ghosted when I escalate.

Am I moving too fast? Here are some examples of conversations:


Her bio said: "mom of the cutest cat ever", but had no pictures of him.

Me: I don't trust you, if you had a cat it would be in every photo of yours

Her: 😒

Her: caught me out hun

She then added some pictures with the cat.

Me: He's too cute

Me: We don't deserve such an innocent being

Her: cutest boy in the whole wide world

Her: i named him nacho

Me: I want to pet Nacho

Me: Let's get to know each other over a drink either tomorrow or next week

No answer.


Her bio: "not sure what I am doing here"

Me: I wonder if you mean "Tinder" or "the universe" with "here"

Her: Hey you

Her: Just tinder 😋

Me: Damn, I was hoping for a deep philosophical conversation about existentialism on our first date

Me: We'll have to settle for drinks and small talk

Her: Now that your mentioning it

Her: Maybe the universe too😏

Me: That's more like it

Me: Free tomorrow evening for a drink?

Her: Oh wow this quick?

Me: Yeah

No answer.


Her bio said: "lover of all things Italian". I am Italian.

Me: I never matched a girl who confessed her love for me in the bio before

Her: All things Italian (except Italian men 😂)

Me: Too late - we're going out for drinks tomorrow night and you'll tell me about your expat story

No answer.


More info/stats:

  • 500+ matches, but only around 20 dates;

  • Probably got over 100 numbers. Most girls do not reply to my texts after they enthusiastically gave me their number;

  • Got a 8mo+ FWB I find very attractive just by opening with "You have an empty bio, that's cool - more things to discuss over a drink. When are you free?"

As you can see my success rate is very low. Am I fucking up in the way I text? Should I try to build more rapport?