Treating guys with kindness without making it seem like an invite to more?

banllama · 2016-12-30T16:32:10+00:00

I've seen this in a few female friends who are really cute but are just super duper nice and are kinda quirky. Men, particularly omegas, just swarm over them obsessively.

It's really frustrating for them and it's really hard for them to do anything about it due to their character and the lack of social skills of the men.

Some things:

Set obvious boundaries. The second they make any kind of move, make sure they know it's not romantic. They ask you for coffee: tell them THIS IS NOT A DATE.

Mention your boyfriend in passing a lot of times. If you don't have one, good luck.

Be blunt and straightforward: "I am not interested in a relationship with you". This sounds like good advice but these girls are too nice to actually apply it.

The most practical solution I've seen is simply to befriend men who don't fawn over you and other omegas tend to steer clear. Or hang out in a female only company.

quicklogaccount · 2016-12-30T17:40:33+00:00

You see, the text addresses guys with "scarcity" mindset, guys who don't have female attention available.
It's borderline impossible for women to be even slightly affectionate without making things confusing for these guys. They lack parameters and calibration. And the worst of all, as you might have noticed already and often, they'll try to get closer to you by being more friendly when they actually want a romantic engagement, and they'll be frustrated once they fail.

Don't bother a lot. The blame is on them, not on you, and there's not a lot you can do either way. Don't go on 1 on 1 meetings, avoid touching, and please, don't ever lean towards him.

The only thing a girl should understand to prevent being a bitch without knowing is that every favor she gets, every "kindness", is an exchange. Something is expected in return. So, just reciprocate efforts others put on you. When it seems nothing is expected, what is usually expected is her romantic openness.

Title	Treating guys with kindness without making it seem like an invite to more?
Author	Gardrothard
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	December 30, 2016 3:34 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5l3z67/treating_guys_with_kindness_without_making_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/treating-guys-with-kindness-without-making-it-seem.79959 https://theredarchive.com/post/79959

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