Trust

SkimSTi · 2017-04-17T20:08:58+00:00

you cheat. they cheat. you lie, they lie..... well, no fucking wonder you cant get a grip on all these negative thoughts.

how can you expect someone else to be faithful with you if you cant be?

also, believe it or not, there are people out there (men and women) with good moral values and actually won't cheat. ive been with plenty of cheaters myself, and have never cheated. but the fact of the matter is, it is partially your fault.

either by a) not seeing the plethora of red flags during the dating process. or b) not being a damn man in the relationship and doing what you need to do to keep your girls interest level in you high.

and lastly, c) there are some women that are just cheaters and have no moral value. you just don't know. if you are that afraid of the potential to trust people, you shouldnt be in a relationship. its a risk EVERYONE takes.

just remember, you shouldnt compare your past problems to current/future people. everyone is different. and any new person you meet has a clean slate. treat em fairly until they prove they aren't worth to have around.

sounds like you have a lot of work to do, son.

red-dead-erection · 2017-04-17T19:53:02+00:00

If you thought she wasn't going to be faithful why did you enter the LTR? There is no magical cure for this behavior. You have to learn to not be so invested in this. It sounds like you are putting too much of yourself into making this work and it's forcing you into overthinking and worrying too much. The way you fix this is abundance mentality. This will help you understand to not be outcome dependent. If you have many options you won't care if on of them cheats on you. Just replace her.

vandaalen · 2017-04-17T20:11:51+00:00

If you think she might be a cheating whore she is not LTR-material.

That said you need to change your mindset. Accept that there is always a chance that you will get betrayed by people. There is no way to control them and there is no way to make sure that they won't. No matter what you do.

You need to work towards becoming more stoic. It's no use to worry about things which are beyond your control. You can very well be aware that a woman might some day leave you or cheat on you and still not worry about it. You also know that you could very well be struck by a lightning anyy time and still you are not worried to go out of your house and have fun (probably).

What you can do is be careful when screening and selecting possible long term partners and make sure that you yourself do not get lazy and keep working on yourself and do not let yourself be sucked into the comfortable ways of the blue pill thinking you got everything running with your unicorn babygirl.

Same with other people. Virtually everybody I deal with on a personal level will get an advance of trust from me. I do this deliberately though and keep in the bacl of my head that they might take advantage of it.

It's as with everything: I make a choice and then I live with the consequences, good or bad.

Title	Trust
Author	REYMIFAH
Upvotes	0
Comments	3
Date	April 17, 2017 7:37 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/65xt4g/trust/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/trust.89671 https://theredarchive.com/post/89671

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