Went into monk mode for a while, and cut off contact with most friends. How do I proceed?

MattyAnon · 2016-05-11T01:24:07+00:00

1 was I wanted to see if people would try to initiate contact.

They won't. People are lame.

The other was to see which people in my life I didn't want anymore.

If you reach this point, the answer is "none of them". Harsh but true.

Tell them you've been busy. They probably won't criticise because they've not initiated contact. Gently flip this round..."Where have you been?" / "Where have YOU been, not heard from you in ages!"

Like I'm predicting how the conversation could play out, and don't have responses to theoretical questions they can ask.

Don't be retarded. "Busy" is all you need to say. YOU DO NOT NEED TO JUSTIFY YOURSELF. Tell them you joined a Tibetan Monastary but fucking monks for a living turned out not to be your thing. None of this shit matters.

Frankly I chose not to talk with them

Do not say this.

dabrah1 · 2016-05-10T23:33:04+00:00

uh, just tell them youve been really busy with work and school lol. Just wondering did they try to initiate contact with you?

ELunico_GEO · 2016-05-11T03:39:55+00:00

Reading this and your responses made me realize I'm in the same spot. I have to agree with some commentors on this one. When it comes down to you having to evaluate whether you should keep your friends or if there are some that are questionable for keeping, chances are you should just cut ties.

I'm also turning 23 in a couple of months lol and realize it's more important to cut off the excess that doesn't relate to your goals and instead strive to find and connect with people who are equally motivated in what you are aiming for. The friendship will happen naturally, but don't forget that it's a two way street so any effort given to you should get the same reciprocal effort back. As for who you should make friends with, that comes down to your self-awareness and self worth, which if you've been in RP long enough should be natural/no brainer.

StoicCrane · 2016-05-11T01:35:43+00:00

Curious how old you are OP. In any case, monk mode has nothing to do with other people. It's about being accountable for your own personal development and growing on your own terms free from potentially destructive external influences.

My suggestion is to cut them all loose and form bonds with inspiring people. The ones who make an avid effort to remain in your life are most likely keepers. Fuck the others, figuratively. You owe them nothing.

DarkCotton · 2016-05-11T06:28:20+00:00

This exact situation, aside from the school part, is what happened with me and my friend. The few that tried to stay in contact with you will understand you needed to get your shit together.

Source: I was one of the few that stayed in contact.

massageanest · 2016-05-11T06:35:42+00:00

I went through a similar situation. My suggestion is to only text for logistics. Your friends have "friends" that they talk to all day but will never take time out of their day to meet face to face. You will be the friend who doesn't waste their time, and makes time for them. Personally, I will never go back to texting for anything other than logistics. I used to feel awkward around people who could not live without their phones, now I find their addiction funny.

0_fox_are_given · 2016-05-11T10:27:44+00:00

I went into monk mode for a year. When people asked me where I was, I said: Monk mode.

As simple as that. If they try to ask more I turn it into a joke. No need to explain further. All that matters is you're back in action and cool with it.

Title	Went into monk mode for a while, and cut off contact with most friends. How do I proceed?
Author	h4lp23
Upvotes	19
Comments	13
Date	May 10, 2016 10:29 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4irttg/went_into_monk_mode_for_a_while_and_cut_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/went-into-monk-mode-for-a-while-and-cut-off.105254 https://theredarchive.com/post/105254

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