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What are basic bitch topics? I don't know them.

welliamalive · 2017-01-28T07:12:30+00:00

I'm a fob. So I don't know what you mean by basic bitch topics. I'd like to study them to establish common ground with basic bitches. Can you...

welliamalive

January 28, 2017

10 upvotes

/r/askTRP

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Title	What are basic bitch topics? I don't know them.
Author	welliamalive
Upvotes	10
Comments	10
Date	January 28, 2017 7:12 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5qmgbc/what_are_basic_bitch_topics_i_dont_know_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-are-basic-bitch-topics-i-dont-know-them.81516 https://theredarchive.com/post/81516

Comments

[–]LordThunderbolt12 points13 points14 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]banllama2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]welliamalive[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

So I should talk like "did you see that latest gossip girl episode? that was funny as fuck" or what? I mean what am I expected of in the conversation when we are talking about those topics?

"I hate cats because they always bite me when I prob them"?

"I know <insert cat type here> and they are so smart and loving. They make really cute sounds. Have you ever pet one?

"I had a <dog type> puppy as a kid but I accidentally murdered it when I was playing a video game."

Where can I get a better overall idea? I think knowing topics wouldn't help. I don't know how to MAKE the context or direction or anything of the conversation. Mere factual information about the topics wouldn't help me to make a conversation. I think I don't know how to conversate in general... I just speak truth (lol but not really funny, rather sad?) and I just speak the factual information in an exchange as if I'm a hardware port.

[–]Smigg_e9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TeflonDon30001 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wanted to expand on the examples you used:

"I hate cats because they always bite me when I prob them"?

"I know <insert cat type here> and they are so smart and loving. They make really cute sounds. Have you ever pet one?

My version: "I know <insert cat type here> and they are so smart and loving. They make really cute sounds. My favorite thing to do with them is grab them, and throw them as far as I can to see if they land on their feet... Don't worry, they do... most of the time...."

"I had a <dog type> puppy as a kid but I accidentally murdered it when I was playing a video game."

See how my violence was hyperbolic, exaggerated to the point of absurdity. This is not. It could be a very uncomfortable fact told through a joke. It's not extreme enough, and at the same time too extreme in its degree of severity.

My version: "I had a <dog type> puppy as a kid, I named him Fido. But he was such a dick, all he wanted to do was cuddle with me and lay on top of me while I played video games."

The twist within the joke is the fact I called him a dick for doing something cute. Girls love twists, especially shit like adding negativity to something positive.

[–]TeflonDon30000 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Don't speak the truth or factual information... about anything.

No girl finds truth attractive, or facts funny. They like mystery, hidden ideas, a challenge to unravel. So give it to them. Speak in constant metaphors and similes and completely confuse anything you want to say.

Facts suck, they're unfunny, uninteresting, and mostly argumentative. Never bring up a fact, unless it's to set up a solid joke.

Conversational Strategies: *Be mischievously mean - poke fun at her *Have good stories - or make them up *Ask great questions

The last point is the most important. Asking questions is an art form. Look at asking questions as in-roads, paths to deeper meaning. Asking about the weather, or where she lives is boring. Why does she live there? Where has she lived before? If she could live anywhere, where would it be? What has she learned from living in a new city? Was it hard to make friends? Do you want to be my friend? Great, let's fuck.

And if it ever gets too heavy, make a joke at her expense.

[–]roeddit points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]bigkids0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]brideboy2 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DadOnDabs0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link