"What are you doing tonight?"

tombreck2 · 2014-09-03T19:10:55+00:00

"when are you free"

she gives you a date

"meet at x at 8pm for drinks"

HS-Thompson · 2014-09-03T18:13:58+00:00

Yes you do have a point. This whole aggressive "do this" has its place to be sure but it's not the only way to communicate. It depends on your situation, for example for young people, especially in some towns where all the bars are on the same drag, it makes the most sense to say my friends and I will be at XYZ come down. For those of us not in our 20s, or living in a giant metropolis like NYC for example that isn't really how it's done.

I usually start with something very short and simple, for example if you have made vague plans to hang out sometime just text "tonight?" and see what the response is. If it's busy with work/family/travel/whatever just text back "shame, next time" or something equally short. If it's an indication of being free at all then move to the part where you just tell her where and when.

There's nothing inherently wrong with asking simple logistics questions the trick is to keep them simple and direct and to the point without needless elaboration or detail.

AFPJ · 2014-09-03T18:29:28+00:00

with a woman it's best to use statements and not questions.

would it come off as trying to work around their schedule?

Not all women are shit test galore and you have to calibrate to find out whether you can back/forth with them a few texts asking questions to settle logistics or just have to plow through to skip shit like "maybe" / "perhaps".

Before calibration, "Let's go to [place] at [time]" shows leadership with a clear, concise plan yet leaves room for her to shift the time by a little bit or change the venue if she has any concerns.

40Watts · 2014-09-04T00:34:41+00:00

"What's your schedule like this week?"

Then pick the day she's free.

ghitdirt · 2014-09-03T19:35:20+00:00

Instead of saying "meet me at X at Y time" try something a little more innocuous while remaining definitive "I'm going to X at Y time, you should come too" or "I'm bored, I'm going to X at Y time" or "I'm free on X day, let's go to Y" (if she says she can't or is busy, don't respond or simply respond with something short and leave it at that). I've always preferred this approach to the demand line because you're treating her no differently than you treat your friends. Do you demand your friends to go out or do you make a statement about your plans and suggest that they should join you?

An alpha doesn't beg OR order (both begging and demanding are weak behavior, a manager who rules through fear has no respect, just as a weak manager has no respect), an alpha has their own life, lives it without apology and they are going to do what they want to do regardless, but if they think you're cool they will ALLOW you to join them.

Too often, I see guys thinking control or demanding behavior is alpha, it's not, it's beta as fuck, just manifested in a more external way than typical fearful beta behavior. To be alpha is to just own your life and be your own person, people love to be around you and follow you because of this, and ultimately want to join you when they can simply because you're that fucking awesome (this is the definition of a MGHOW).

Think Mal on Serenity: "This is how it is. Anybody doesn't wanna fly with me any more, this is your port of harbor [...] So I hear a word out of any of you that ain't helping me out or taking your leave, I will shoot you down." He makes it clear they can stay or follow him, and then he sets his terms if they choose to accept them. That's alpha.

Humankeg · 2014-09-03T23:34:01+00:00

"Hey I'm going to xxxx tonight, you should come on down."

Title	"What are you doing tonight?"
Author	shititsthecops
Upvotes	5
Comments	7
Date	September 3, 2014 5:46 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2fdimm/what_are_you_doing_tonight/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-are-you-doing-tonight.141855 https://theredarchive.com/post/141855

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