Hello everyone,

I'm a 20y old dude that found out about trp like a month ago, after my gf dumped me (we were together for 3 fucking years).

Currently I'm kinda in the anger phase of my trp journey...

Anyway, I'll go straight to the point of my post:

“Ultimately, it is the desire, not the desired, that we love.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

Almost all of us agree on this one, right?

What we call love is the experience of love you feel within, either radiated or reactive, and the other person plays a role as a part of that, or not.

I read this on some post here and I thought I agree.

But then I realised that I could liteally feel what my gf(now ex) felt. If she was in bad mood, i was too. If she was hurt, I was too. If I hurt her, I would feel all of her pain and I would feel bad for knowing that I'm the one that caused it.

(Well I didnt realy feel 100% of what she felt, but I could feel it to some degree)

This should mean that I loved her as a person and that I deeply cared for her.

So I guess you guys understand why am I confused here, I mean those 2 things are contradictory to one another.

I was hoping if u could explain this to me, or maybe give me your thought.

TL;DR If love is the experience that someone creates in us, and we dont love the person itself,

then why we feel bad if our 'loved one' feels bad? If they are hurt then why do we also feel hurt?