Here is an example, I now recall how a coworker would tell me how she would always go to the theaters or the beach for relaxation. This is after we spoke about how I was stressed and all that. She was surprised on how I wore a shirt on a Friday, I rarely wear shirts, I knew she felt a sort of intrigue from her reaction: "oh, never saw you wear a shirt until now, wow!"

She was a coworker who I always see because we were assigned in a duo group. She was the lead, older, extremely tall brunette, a mom who had a very attractive daughter. Not even sure if she was married anymore.

Still, I could have asked her where and when. Then I would have gone then and when and probably given her back massages. In my dreams right? But I know there could have been a possibility. Before leaving the job, she herself threw a small party and gathered a few coworkers to give me gifts. I texted her months after thanking and remembering her, no replies.

I am still a manlet, with zero experience in good sex. Nothing changes except maybe the latter. Somehow, life might've changed if I had the moves with her, why am I thinking that if I would have got to know her better or even give her a massage I could feel invincible because she is the only woman that I know (so far) who became fairly nice to me.

Regardless of the context, she was that one tall woman who didn't care about height and somehow if I would've done something, I think I could see life differently if I conquered an unreachable goal (i.e: laying with maybe a taller, older woman) I would have felt invincible further on in my dating life. Why do I think this? Is this a condition that I can call?