I feel like I've been lying to myself all these time, I thought I was close to be 100% red pilled, a few days ago I acted like a complete beta/pussy and it's been hard to accept the fact that I did something so stupid.

I was doing the favor of letting a friend of my sister to sleep over, she was cute and totally on to me, it was only two days, the first day I try to escalate, but the minute she said she didn't want to do anything I get a little mad, and told her that I wanted to fuck her, but that I can control myself, then asked her what she was going to do if I tried, she said 'nothing', but I still didn't do anything.

The next day I tried to act cool as if nothing happened, and she kept trying to get close to me the entire day, I sort of avoided being so close to her, at night I fell as sleep on the couch while she was talking/cooking, then I wake up, she asks if she can get closer, she does, I sit away from her, I say I'm tired and go to sleep.

Next day she leaves obviously mad because I think in her head she thinks that I rejected her, but the true is I just acted like a pussy, a few minutes later I wake up again to see if I see her and try, but it was too late, she was already asleep.