When and how should I break up?

WhyNotJustEnjoyLife · 2016-06-19T13:22:36+00:00

I've been in your shoes. I had the same feeling with my ex just 3 months in the relationship and felt really guilty about wanting to break up with her when she obviously has no clue about what I really felt about her. She guilt trip me and I stayed for almost 4 more months. Overall very BP experience and it didn't end well at all as I wanted it to.

I see 2 options :

1-Ghost (just drop off from her life ) write a small text or whatever just let it be know you no longer want to be with her. Takes balls and I never had the courage to pull that off and I wish I did in retrospect.

2- Try and wait for her next fuck up and hamster that you want to break up with her because of said fuck up ( also really hard to do because you're doing the hamstering and you feel like a worthless piece of shit for messing with someone's head like that and you feel guilty for making her dwell on her fuck up and she will try and reason with you and you'll feel like a dick cause you agree that said fuck up isn't that bad.

I secretly hoped my ex would dump me herself that way I don't take the blame. It's messed up as you do want to do right by her but at the same time you just don't have the balls to emotionally hurt her, If you don't follow through with either of these options there will come a point where you will think that something is wrong with you that you want to break up with her even though she's doing nothing wrong and you will just keep digging this big life sucking hole that keeps getting bigger every day every time you meet her or kiss her (reminder i've been doing this for 4 months)

It sucks but it happens and once it happens it's gone and you won't talk to her anymore.

I think the best way to go on about this is prove to her beyond reasonable doubt that you are a worthless piece of shit who's not worth her commitment that's what I ended up doing. Make up stories about how you're crazy and can't keep a woman because you're a serial cheater or some shit. It will make you sound like an asshole but at least she will have an easier time getting over you. Only bad thing here is if you have a big circle of friends together that means that they are gone with her as well.

Hope I gave you some insight

Edit : As for the when part, I think you should do it after the exams or before I really don't know it all comes down to how good you are at making her believe you're not worth the infatuation she has for you. Good luck on your exams.

Please don't do the mistake I did, don't pussy out it won't end well either way whether you do it now, after the exams or after visiting her "makers".

chugged1 · 2016-06-19T21:01:04+00:00

I don't know man, I probably have an unpopular opinion here, but I think you should wait until she's finished with her finals. Granted, there's no "perfect" time to break up, but I think with how significant exams are, it would be pretty fucking respectful to wait until they're over.

It doesn't sound like she fucked you over or is a total cunt. I think that alone deserves the respect to wait until exams are done.

I broke up with my LTR four days before her birthday. She was fine, and went partying with friends as usual. Her birthday or happiness is not your responsiblity.

RPShitlord · 2016-06-19T13:11:56+00:00

Just tell her you don't see the relationship continuing and that you will not meet her parents or go to her birthday.

This chick won't get depressed. She doesn't even seem that much into you. For all you know, she's going to be flirting with other guys at her party and wants you along as a beard.

minuscipher · 2016-06-19T18:44:04+00:00

Just break up with her, she's not your responsibility, specially to worry if she bombs or becomes depressed, prolonging the inevitable break up is the dick move.

[deleted] · 2016-06-19T19:32:31+00:00

I'm a huge dick.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_edvpGORxI

Make your self your mental point of origin.

RPthrowaway_007 · 2016-06-19T15:33:59+00:00

I saw a good comment on a similar previous post: do the breakup at her place. Or if she's psycho and you fear she may try and harm you, do it in a public place. Either way, the most important thing is to ensure you can leave right away.

[deleted] · 2016-06-19T12:59:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	When and how should I break up?
Author	FuckGivingUp
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	June 19, 2016 12:47 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4ot647/when_and_how_should_i_break_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/when-and-how-should-i-break-up.107115 https://theredarchive.com/post/107115

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