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When to text?

onlinerocker

May 15, 2018

1 upvotes

/r/askTRP

I matched with this girl on tinder and asked to hang this week. She's going back to her college for summer classes, and won't be back til the weekend (she's not lying as I can verify her distance away on tinder).

I told her to hit me up when she's back in town and gave her my number. She texted me to give me hers, and i sent a confirmation text that i got it.

The next day (yesterday) she randomly hits me up and asks me a question, I assume she's trying to start conversation. I respond with an answer. She doesn't text back and I don't send any follow up texts. This left me pretty confused, but I'm assuming she's either playing dread (I've left her on read for 24 hours before, so maybe some revenge thing?) or was just fishing for validation.

When should I text her to try and organize a time to meet this weekend? I don't want to come across as too needy.

EDIT: Didn’t send a follow up and she responds 36 hours later. lmfao

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Post Information

Title	When to text?
Author	onlinerocker
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	May 15, 2018 7:41 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8joi7m/when_to_text/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/when-to-text.97304 https://theredarchive.com/post/97304

Comments

[–]X--Man5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]onlinerocker 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]it_takes_the_redpill1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Text game is annoying to learn, because it takes a lot of waiting around. And it can also take a strong understanding of language you're using.

You told her to hit you up when she's back. That puts the ball in her court. Instead, tell her you'll hit her up sometime when she gets back. Then it's still in yours. You are the hunter, you won't forget about your target. She on the other hand, will handily forget and drive you crazy. It's your fault if that's how you leave it.

It helps if, before you text, you look at it from her perspective. Think "how could/would I respond to this if I were her"?

Don't force conversation that isn't flowing. Go ahead, try a couple tactics, but if you're doing too much it will become unattractive. Try the Brad Pitt test. Would she ever be sending such boring 1 word replies to Brad Pitt? When he asks if she's free on Friday, does Brad Pitt get a "no" or does he get a "no, I already made plans for Friday, but I'm free Saturday, Sunday, and all next week"?

I consider myself pretty good at text game, and I have learned that it should really be used as little as possible. Unless I'm serious about a girl, it's only for building initial rapport, and logistics.

[–]onlinerocker 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]it_takes_the_redpill1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Without knowing the what that message was, and your reply, it's hard to tell what the exact situation is.

Usually not a good sign if they don't reply, but it doesn't mean all hope is lost. Just acknowledge this is an indicator of disinterest and move on. Believe me when I say, if they leave you "on read", the only one thinking about that shit will be you. Outcome independence is key if you want peace of mind.

Personally I would give it til tomorrow night, then hit her up. Make sure it's something easy to respond to if she's interested. Reference an inside joke, or ask a general logistics question. Or if you can, do both.

"Hey ____, I've been thinking about [activity you plan on doing] this weekend, and I realized we didn't decide who would bring the [some item here, use your imagination, this is a very rough template]. Do you have any of those?"

Thats one example. The whole goal here is to get her to respond. A secondary goal is to get her to feel some of the feelings she had when she was texting you before. The girl you turned on a few days ago is probably not the same one you're texting today. You need her move her dial closer to your setting.

Her response indicates a revival of that interest, and puts the text frame back in your hands. From there, I would do one of two things. If she's texting back playful stuff, I'll continue to be a bit playful, while at the same time nailing down the logistics. If you can't tell, or it's taking significant time between replies, I go no nonsense and just pin down the date details as efficiently as possible.

Tinder is a numbers game. Do your best to establish rapport quickly and either ask her out or agree to meet.

(One method I use is to guide the conversation toward you two hypothetically doing something together. Maybe the scenario is that you two are vigilantes solving a murder. As you build up this hypothetical, if she's having fun with it, at some point you can say "and we should definitely be asking the locals if they've seen anything. We should grab a drink at _____ and start asking around.")

Once you agree to meet, set the meeting as close as possible to right the fuck now. I like to have the date time and location pinned down. After that, I let the convo die, ideally ending when she sends me something boring enough that I don't reply.

Then I don't text except to confirm the day of. I'm getting carried away with this reply so I'm going to stop here, but I hope it helps.

[–]onlinerocker 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]it_takes_the_redpill0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RedSkeller1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]onlinerocker1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link