When I was in my LTR , I never loved any person more. I cared very deeply about her. She was my first love , first girlfriend , essentially the only person I ever really let in - I am pretty guarded and quiet naturally, it’s a defense mechanism , I have a fear of abandonment for sure. But regardless I loved her and only wanted to be with her.

Of course I was “alpha” and exciting in the beginning, but as time went on I guess I was too familiar. No mystery and started to get insecure so the relationship started to get rough and inevitably we broke up.

But I just want to know for myself. Why can’t a woman that we love be our mission if we choose it to be? Of course I am going to make my money , work out and advance myself and become as elite as I can because at the end of the day we are all (at least I am) very self interested, but after me why can’t it be her?