Why does it take you so long to respond to texts?

penis_in_my_hand · 2022-10-21T14:25:01+00:00

It doesn't take all women a long time to respond. It only takes women who are only moderately interested to respond.

A woman who is actually interested in you will respond promptly.

Stop replying to the ones that are just half assing it.

brokensoul_26 · 2022-10-21T14:08:08+00:00

Women text people they prioritise/ love way too quick. Like it's always on their mind. They literally wait for that one notification to open it and reply.

If this isn't the level of enthusiasm you get when you're texting someone it's safe to assume they do not have a similar level of interest in you.

Playing hard to get is common but the replies would generally have hour-long delays rather than days.

My unsolicited advice? Stop texting these people.

OldStorageUnit · 2022-10-21T16:22:51+00:00

I’m a guy but I’ll respond to this question anyway. It takes about 30 seconds to respond to a text. A phone call takes more of a time commitment but a text can be sent in 30 seconds or less. If someone you were interested in can’t make 30 seconds of their time to respond to a text in a 24 hour day, then they don’t care about you. You are wasting your time. Move on. I would also add that it’s rude and inconsiderate to not reply back to someone. Ask yourself, why would you want someone rude and inconsiderate in your life?

caesarfecit · 2022-10-21T17:14:44+00:00

If she takes an hour or two to respond, she's probably busy.

If she takes a day to respond, she's sending a passive-aggressive message.

Think of it this way. Most people by the time they get out of high school realize that if you text people like that, you send the message that they're not important to you. 99% of people don't do this unless it's deliberate.

great_account · 2022-10-21T16:40:33+00:00

Man here, I text in bursts. I am busy, but also every woman who I am currently not dating or friends with gets a text when I feel like texting them. Texting a bunch of people all day everyday is exhausting. I pretty much only text when I'm bored or when I'm trying to coordinate something.

Peacebone000 · 2022-10-21T16:19:42+00:00

We hate to hear it but it depends on her level of interest in you. If she's really into you she won't take longer than an hour and if she does take longer, she would sometimes tell you and apologize for taking long to respond. If you have been with girls that were into you versus ones that weren't all that interested, you would know how big the difference is.

kidrockpasta · 2022-10-21T21:20:16+00:00

If people take a day or longer to respond it's because they don't want to. They're usually too nice to ghost so they do the bare minimum eventually.

Virtual_Judgment7147 · 2022-10-21T23:49:52+00:00

Not a woman here but have dealt with many women (and men) that didn’t respond properly, and talked to them about it.

Honestly most of the time if anyone takes a day to respond, they have no interest to talk to you at all, no matter the context. As others have said on this thread, most people only respond quickly to “certain” people quickly most of the time. Also some of us like to play “texting” games where we purposely wait a few minutes/hours to not seem “desperate”.

There are outliers, although they are rare. I have dealt with a woman, even with important work to do with big consequences, always responds late to everyones (including her friends) messages. Another girl I know just purposely ignores messages because she doesn’t want to confront stuff at that moment.

Even with the outliers though, it all comes to the same conclusion, avoidant behaviour. This avoidant behaviour can occur for more reasons than you think and there are nuances in certain cases. Like for both examples, they just couldn’t emotionally handle confronting shit and prioritised (often emotionally not rationally) things to respond to quickly vs not quickly. Learning from dealing with these two women and many others, often people respond quickly to messages confronting them, especially when there are immediate social consequences.

Key note, immediate social consequences. The thing is when you are going for a woman, and if they aren’t interested in you, there isn’t any consequences for her if she ignored you or takes a while to reply, it’s all good in her head. Now don’t get this twisted in thinking this is what they logically think, this is more of a sub-concious process in their head that dictates their emotions, such as happiness and stress which make them inclined to respond.

So to generalise, if you aren’t someone who isn’t consequential to her day-to-day activities, she ain’t going to respond to you properly. Like working with women in my community group, where I had information or the knowledge for them to complete their work, they respond instantaneously. As apposed to when I’m tryna be social with them for the first few days of getting to know them, it was slow but we got there.

But if you are some random person doing an online cold-approach or met a girl on a dating app, and she ain’t deeply attracted to you, you ain’t going to get shit.

So moral of the story, if a girl doesn’t respond to you properly don’t even bother, 9/10 times they aren’t interested in you at all from the beginning, so leave it immediately. The 1/10 times, yeah something could be happening.

Here is a tip though, if you can talk to the girl in person first, do it there as opposed to doing it online. You tend to get better results.

partyn3xtd00r6 · 2022-10-21T23:56:55+00:00

She’s not interested bro. Has other options she finds more attractive. Simple.

fsociety091786 · 2022-10-21T21:15:34+00:00

Not a girl but there are times where I’ll read a text, get interrupted with something else before I can reply and then without that notification I’ll forget to respond only to suddenly remember later. Usually makes me feel bad though and sometimes I’ve apologized depending on the time gap. I’d say if it’s once in a while it’s fine but if it’s consistent then yeah that probably indicates lack of interest.

gym_brah81 · 2022-10-21T22:17:21+00:00

Not a woman, but a big thing for me when I'm texting friends is overthinking if I'm reacting/responding "correctly" and then making it kinda an effortful task figuring out what to say after putting it off.

My brother has a similar thing with messaging.

TL;DR: basically just anxiety drives you to overthink and avoid answering immediately.

ncolon2393 · 2022-10-21T18:49:58+00:00

Women get so many more dms then us men. Their inbox are some of the most toxic places and they have to filter out so much nastiness, so I imagine. I love ask females about their inbox because it's show how far man has fallen in the dating realm over the years.

the_quietestmouse · 2022-10-21T23:41:00+00:00

Honestly, I know there are plenty of guys that end up doing this to me, and I chock it up to them either being busy/working.

I on the other hand have a weird thing where I’ll look at a text, type a response and then maybe not send it for whatever random reason and end up forgetting I didn’t send it. Usually I’ll send it then with an apology, but multiple days always makes me know I’m not that interested.

It sucks getting it the other way though 🙃 so I try to do it less.

Woujo · 2022-10-21T23:59:02+00:00

Cuz they're not that into you dude.

r1bb1tTheFrog · 2022-10-22T00:14:48+00:00

I keep my phone on silent and face down always. If I need to use it, I use it and ignore unimportant stuff - like texts.

Oh sorry btw I’m a dude, but point is that you should try it too.

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-10-21T20:03:31+00:00

Busy or low interest

60yearoldME · 2022-10-21T23:37:31+00:00

I think a big thing for men to hear is two-fold: one: why does it bother you so much? You are blaming your feelings on someone else, not keeping your own mental state in check. Why do you freak out when she doesn’t text you back? What are you insecure about?

Two: the ability to text has only been around for a decade or so - human minds are not wired to be able to deal with the intensity of immediate communication at this level. Why don’t you wait longer to text?

Also three: women and men operate differently. Get used to it or you’re gonna have a bad time. If you hold women to the same standards as your male friends you’re doing it wrong. Or go date a dude if that’s what u want.

strazak666 · 2022-10-21T21:31:09+00:00

You have answered your question.

No-Rub-7252 · 2022-10-21T15:00:05+00:00

Go on r/bumble and there’s a post about people turning off their notifications. Or she’s simply not interested

Crafty_Bag_4871 · 2022-10-22T09:10:42+00:00

A lot of women just have a lot more going on message wise in their phone so messages become more saturated and they don’t get the same need to immediately check what whoever said texted them. Especially if they got a bunch of backed up notifications. This is why popular people do that too. A lot of people are seen as assholes because they have more going on. They don’t want people to slip between the cracks, but it can be more overwhelming when a lot of people are hitting you up. Some people just fake it because they want to seem like they got it going on though. And it doesn’t hurt to take a step back between texts anyway. You gotta catch the vibe of the convo

riche_god · 2022-10-22T09:38:13+00:00

No confident goal-oriented woman is responding promptly. Don’t listen to these comments.

R1V4L5 · 2022-10-21T21:11:17+00:00

no single paragraph can answer this. it’s a long explanation but the tl;dr is really about availability

women respond within atleast 1-2 hours most of the time, and will match your energy. if they don’t, they’re losing interest/never had any. no matter how much they liked you before.

Thin-Cartoonist-9485 · 2022-10-21T22:42:48+00:00

Their involved and require discretion

leocrSDtriton · 2022-10-21T23:53:30+00:00

I feel you, it’s frustrating. There are two possibilities: 1. Because she wants to send you the perfect text, and needs time to think what exact words to type, since you’re especial to her and doesn’t want to mess up her chances. 2. She’s not that interested, and just texts back to be polite. *if it is number 2: I would stay busier than usual to have less time to think about her intended slight. And find someone else to text with. Also match her text response time, and leave on her on read every now and then, so she knows you’re life doesn’t revolve around her.

OldStorageUnit · 2022-10-22T00:25:21+00:00

I’ve noticed there’s a lack of women in the response section, particularly the women who this question is directed towards. I’m going to answer this question in the way it relates to myself, whilst also advocating a lifestyle change to anyone reading. I have a lot to say, so I’ll provide a TLDR here.

TLDR; I’m a woman who rarely responds to texts. This is a deliberate choice I’ve made to improve my life. There are others who have made this choice, I recommend you to challenge yourself to do the same.

I’m notorious for “never responding”. Here’s my reasoning. I used to be very addicted to my cell phone, at some point I noticed that my life revolved around social media and online communication. I was a very lonely person, extremely insecure and often felt unproductive and lazy. As soon as lockdowns ended, I decided to make drastic lifestyle changes which resulted in me infrequently using any sort of messaging apps. I will still occasionally plan out a block of time to respond to messages if I need to make plans or reach out, but this is not something that happens daily. I prefer to limit my use of social communication apps as much as humanely possible. If I respond to a text, it is usually when there is no other alternative (emergency, last minute plans). These are short and infrequent conversations. I advocate that more people adopt this lifestyle. If anyone reading this is in a place where they are uncomfortable with their current state, I advise you consider making this choice.

I have become a very active person. I leave my house at 6AM and come home at 11PM. I am registered to take advanced classes in school. Immediately after school, I am in the pool for 2-3 hours swimming. Right after that, I am at work. My job is physical and hands on. I am able to plan my life using blocks, in-between blocks I am catching up on homework or taking care of chores/personal hygiene. If I’m on my phone it’s scheduled, I take the time to respond to work/school emails/texts. When I do have free time, I will be at concerts/clubs, with friends, or working on hobbies. I am not perfect and do waste time reading/watching random shit that I find on YouTube and Reddit, but I am rarely personally communicating with others on my phone.

I’m very social and approachable. I am easy to converse with. If someone wants to make plans, they know to either give me a phone call or talk to me in person. I am upfront about my choices. I have no interest in texting anymore, it’s hard for me to remember what I’m talking about and I generally find it under stimulating and a waste of time. I understand this comes off as some sort of superiority issue, however I don’t believe that other people are a waste of time. The issue is, texting is a very inconvenient and time consuming method of communicating that does not really serve to socially stimulate me. Responding to texts is a draining chore which is a poor replacement for socializing and leads people to burn out.

I understand that this is really going against the grain, but I believe our society would be a lot more functional if people stopped relying on phones to communicate. A lot of people are addicted to their phones and yet still feel very alone while being socially burnt out. Mobile phones have only really been a thing for the past decade, and I think that it’s time for us to understand that constant, on demand surface level communication is very damaging to our brains. Spending time with yourself/others without the constant need to pick up your phone enriches the activity you’re partaking in, whether it’s chatting with a friend, working out, or just laying in bed watching a docuseries.

If someone in your life isn’t a texter, try approaching them in person. Make plans to spend time face to face. Stop responding to others when you spend time with them. Live in the moment, and stop expecting on demand communication from yourself and others. You’ll quickly see improvement in all facets of your life.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-10-22T00:35:39+00:00

Because they have other priorities, it’s not that they are busy, it’s that they would rather talk to someone else or just watch netflix series instead

Ok-Marionberry-8669 · 2022-10-22T00:47:17+00:00

Who watches IM 24 hours a day?

jjenius731 · 2022-10-22T01:33:02+00:00

First off guy not girl. Im not on my phone or have it attached to my hip constantly. I am one who will not make a priority to answer texts, its not intentional but sometimes it can even be a few days before I respond. If its urgent call me. I'm sure its hurt me with dating but honestly idc because someone who is obsessed with their phone is not for me.

Granny_Killa · 2022-10-22T02:02:49+00:00

Imagine getting 100 texts per day from people who want to fuck you. You're going to pick out about 5 of them who are the hottest 5. You'll then be sorting through those 5 based on what they say and how convenient they are. If they all fizzle out or say something stupid, then maybe numbers 6-10 will get a response from you.

... Unfortunately now you see where you're at with the ones that do this to you.

FruitCreamSicle · 2022-10-22T02:33:31+00:00

Women sometimes take longer to text back to see if it bothers you, they wanna weed out the needy guys so they don’t waste their time, especially if they don’t know you that well or if their attraction level isn’t high for you yet.

natxnatx23 · 2022-10-22T02:57:55+00:00

The truth is if its taking that long every time then they probably are not that interested. A couple hours, sure. But 24 hours, nah.

msnanette13 · 2022-10-22T03:35:37+00:00

Could mean a lot of different things so you have to read other context clues to try and determine which it is. Here are some possible reasons:

1- she just doesn’t care all that much/isn’t that into you 2- she’s trying to play it coy and saw your text right away but didn’t want to seem to eager so she intentionally waited a while to reply 3- she’s not very good at text conversation and doesn’t know how to respond 4- you’re not very good at text conversation so she doesn’t know how to respond 5- she’s trying to impress you and wanted to think of the perfect response but was busy at the moment then forgot to respond for several hours 6- she’s talking to other people (maybe guys or maybe her friends, family)

Commercial_Habit_923 · 2022-10-22T03:37:34+00:00

Not a priority

Fezbot420 · 2022-10-22T03:54:35+00:00

Can take up to a day to reply to a text. Just how it goes sometimes. Can’t put too much thought into response times.

RevolutionaryUnit517 · 2022-10-22T05:40:44+00:00

They are busy, big social life. They don't like you. They're crazy. They have a small brain and forgot. They are testing u to see if ur needy, care, can handle it right.... Girls don't give a shit. There's a pity party for women getting manipulated, but the ones who manipulate, lie, gas light the most are all women. U got to just play them, and ull get in. I'm doing this to a girl right now. I frequently take a bit to reply, sometimes a day or two. I flake on her. I show her messages from other girls and say they're just friends (basically behave exactly how women tend to behave in these situations)... Shhhh. And it makes her stop playing. Like I don't want to be this way. I want things to be easy. But I've learned this way works better. U can't play too hard. It's got to be all the right moves. But if ur nice, upfront, available, you'll get almost zero girls. If u play too hard, you'll get almost zero girls. If you play right u might get half u pursue. Some might take a bit of time, but that's part of the game, and u should be making them wait a bit. Imagine a girl wants to meet Friday. She flakes and keeps flaking. Now imagine same scenario but u flaked instead. (Which speaks volumes in terms of neediness, preselection, popularity). Odds are much higher she will meet next time. If u show her other girls texts, not sexual or obvious romantic interest ones but ones where the girl clearly want to text u... It speaks volumes in preselection but also u can claim they're just friends meaning technically it's not wrong and technically she shouldn't get mad. If u wait a little while to respond it builds tension. U want to build tension in a playful way.

Appropriate-Royal976 · 2022-10-22T11:45:28+00:00

because i actually don't care.

quinnstorms · 2022-10-22T11:54:12+00:00

I just don't like texting so I don't prioritize it. Wanna talk to me, call me

AvaaFaye · 2022-10-22T12:40:14+00:00

I lose track of time easily. 🤷‍♀️

I could be doing dishes, intend to respond, then 2 hours go by because I got distracted by a furball on my floor.

adhd

Also, I have friends who send me well thought out, but lengthy messages. Sometimes I'm so mentally drained from work and the other items in my life, that I won't respond because I can't respond well because I'm too tired and I want to give them my all.

Sometimes I'm running errands and those errands end up taking ALL day.

If you want to talk, give me a call. I respond way quicker if my mind is all over the place and my messages aren't on my mind.

But yeah also, if I'm into you and if I'm looking forward to talking to you, I'll probably check my phone at least every few hours for your text.

jordanar189 · 2022-10-22T13:14:51+00:00

I’m a guy, so maybe my experience doesn’t apply to any girls but I feel like it does to at least some. I suck at texting. I don’t enjoy it, I think too long about what to say and then end up not responding for way too long. It’s at the point where I put off texting when I see one come in, regardless of how interested in the person I am (although more interest will garner a quicker response, but not necessarily a “quick” one) so while most girls are probably gonna text quickly if they’re interested, I don’t believe it to be a steadfast rule

Becaus789 · 2022-10-22T13:39:12+00:00

If she doesn’t text you when she’s drunk you’re not the one.

LevelEcho463 · 2022-10-23T00:28:26+00:00

So I’ve had things going well with people and the stop texting, if your replying more then twice to a text and with in 5 mins all the time it shows your waiting....

brattcatt420 · 2022-10-23T03:34:19+00:00

I hate texting

Title	Why does it take you so long to respond to texts?
Author	alphaonthecomeup
Upvotes	72
Comments	71
Date	October 21, 2022 1:53 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/y9ubrt/why_does_it_take_you_so_long_to_respond_to_texts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-does-it-take-you-so-long-to-respond-to-texts.1247997 https://theredarchive.com/post/1247997

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