I'm a fuck-up. Was expected to go to top universities by high school teachers, told I was very promising by the faculty at top institutions and somehow I flunked out (shit at home got in the way).

I dropped out of high school in my last year because of it. I spend every day sitting around on the internet pretending to be somebody I'm not because I'm fucking embarrassed but I can't find it in me to get my ass into gear and sort my life out.

I know I need to hit the gym. I know I need to enrich my life. I know that this is a miserable cesspool of shit and depression and its not going any good. So why can't I get out of it? why can't I find the motivation to lift to study to eat well to sleep, etc?

What am I doing wrong in my head that isn't making it click? Do you guys have any advice? Be as critical as you want.