Why did she ask whether I needed her?

Pretending_2_Work · 2013-08-21T23:57:28+00:00

A girl wants a man who is a lion.

Then she wants to turn that lion into a pussycat.

Then she gets bored with the pussycat and goes looking for another lion.

Yes, she honestly did want you to need her. And yes, if you had given her that the seeds of your breakup would have been sown. Women's natural relationship tendencies are inherently self-defeating. It's up to the man to hold the frame.

NakedAndBehindYou · 2013-08-22T01:07:47+00:00

Sounds like a shit test through which there is no path to victory.

That said, saying no is probably a lot better than saying yes.

Dokubi · 2013-08-22T03:10:25+00:00

You assumed wrongly that a WOMAN was asking a logical question which warranted a logical answer. This is almost never the case. Instead of reading into the logical MEANING behind her words, read into the FEELING behind them, and then respond accordingly.

"I need you" basically means "I am emotionally invested in you" in woman-speak, so I might have said, "I appreciate that." and then went in to kiss her as a reward for expressing her feelings to me. Or I might have said "I want you in my life. We have a fun time together." And again depending on the situation I might have kissed her.

Be cool all the while, and have a smirk on your face that suggests, "I like having you around but I'm not going to sacrifice myself to be with you. I am a free man."

www777com · 2013-08-22T02:03:05+00:00

so I told her: "No...

The problem here is you took her question literally which is logical. But what she meant was something emotional. She felt something emotional at that moment which caused her to say she needs you and ask if you need her. She was hoping for an emotional answer.

ML00211 · 2013-08-22T08:51:52+00:00

She was showing you her soft underbelly of neediness. The older you get and the more women you bang, the less you'll see it in the beginning. Enjoy it, savor it.

And you should have looked in her eyes, smiled, and said, "I need a kiss from you, right this minute." and gone for a makeout.

scottywotty14 · 2013-08-22T02:06:48+00:00

She was having a moment and wanted to connect with you. You don't have to outright say "no". Less words, more impact. She says "do you need me". You say "I want you" or "I choose you".

[deleted] · 2013-08-22T02:35:17+00:00

Oh c'mon! Her definition of "need" is definitely different than yours. She has a different connotation than you do. She was trying to connect with you and let you know really how strongly she felt about you and you were kind of a smartass about it.

She asked because she wanted to hear how invested you were in the relationship and how much you cared about her. In a way though you answered perfectly. Replying that you needed her too would be the wrong thing to do, especially if you didn't feel that way.

NrwhlBcnSmrt-ttck · 2013-08-22T10:41:38+00:00

She needs you to not need her, she wants you to need her, these are conflicting positions. Once you do, it's all over and you have been dominated, which is ultimately inexcusable.

I had a girlfriend as a teen who wanted a monkey. She let her little dog go undisciplined and get into chocolate and it died. Despite how much she wanted that monkey, she would resent it eventually. She needed to be told "no, you can't have a fucking monkey".

mdadm · 2013-08-28T03:11:43+00:00

There's so many blue pill comments here, especially towards the bottom.

redpilldude · 2013-08-23T01:19:52+00:00

She wasn't asking you a literal question. You're over-analyzing; next time, just say "yes."

Title	Why did she ask whether I needed her?
Author	ZERO_INFORMATION
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	August 21, 2013 10:57 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1ku4gx/why_did_she_ask_whether_i_needed_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-did-she-ask-whether-i-needed-her.138212 https://theredarchive.com/post/138212

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