why do i keep thinking about my ex?

CockyAndHot · 2019-05-08T19:10:11+00:00

Everyone thinks about their exes. You can't control your thoughts - but you can control your interpretation of your thoughts. Accept it and move on.

_the_shape_ · 2019-05-08T19:35:02+00:00

I hate to use the expression, but "trust the process" -

1) Go total no-contact (i.e. de-friend/unfollow on social media, do NOT stalk her account, essentially delete/remove anything that reminds you of her, don't bother replying to anything she sends your way)

2) Workout like a motherfucker

3) If in school, aim to ace all of your classes

4) Avoid idle time as frequently as possible. Rekindle old relationships with friends, make new ones, hang out with family, find something else you like to do and do it. Stay active. Staring at a screen will likely tempt you to jump over to her page and see what's up with her (which will set your recovery back, so try to avoid your computer/phone as much as you can)

5) Don't necessarily have to go straight to ploughing other women, but chatting them up is a good start. Do this as often as possible as well.

6) Refer to this step-by-step when you feel lost and down until you're recovered. I was in your shoes once, kept thinking about the broad, brooding, angry, resentful, until one day I came across something that triggered a memory (I think it was a girl with the same name?) and it was then that I realized that I hadn't thought about her in weeks. That's how your recovery may look like.

VloneGuy · 2019-05-08T19:10:42+00:00

It takes a while to get over an ex especially if you do not have a lot of experience in relationships. You haven’t been busy working/improving hard enough on yourself in many aspects. (Workout gains, cardio, fashion, hygiene, social skills, maintaining frame, finding more beneficial hobbies, work hard at the job/try to get bonus pay with more effort) That will help you get your mind off her + you increase your SMV for an even hotter women. Stop investing as much time thinking about her and invest that energy in bettering yourself for the next girl.

cornbread07 · 2019-05-08T23:30:20+00:00

I've honestly dealt with this issue myself. I'm OCD which makes it even harder to stop thinking about her despite how horrible she is. It's the dopamine in your system that was built up during the relationship. Your body is craving that dopamine high again.

Also, I've gotten back on my purpose. It helps when you find something that you are passionate about. When you are passionate about something you tend to think about it a lot. So I would recommend getting into something that you are passionate about. If you are constantly thinking about something else then your brain doesnt have room to think about her anymore.

Unfortunately, you cant fix problems with women by getting with other women. Women should never be the focus of our lives. They are only a compliment to our life. So get on your purpose/mission and better women will then be drawn into your orbit.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2019-05-09T01:06:27+00:00

You're bored and you miss the constant emotional drama. That's why.

You need better hobbies.

DonJuan_69 · 2019-05-08T19:43:23+00:00

Insert your penis somewhere you have not and repeat

Warren_Bateman · 2019-05-09T03:15:00+00:00

It’s called limerence.

Basically the limerent (you) has an obsessive infatuation with a limerent object (your ex) which is based on reciprocation. Now I’m not sure exactly what reciprocation you’re looking for, but if you’re having intusive fantasies about your ex, then it’s limerence. Best way to know is if your fantasies are about her reacting emotionally to you in some capacity rather than sex (e.g. you are in an accident and she rushes to your side and acts lovingly towards you). There’s a few other signs, but that’s the biggest one.

Bad news: only fix is no contact (no texting, no social media, etc.) and plenty of time.

Good news: you’re not a crazy person and this happens to tons of people. Ya boi included.

Read love and limerence if you’re interested in the topic. Understanding the science behind something helps me to beat it, maybe it will help you too.

batmangetsblumps · 2019-05-08T20:07:45+00:00

Going through the same process. Someone on here gave me good advice: keep lifting and fucking new chicks. Whenever I fuck someone new all those bad feelings go away. I know I'm better off without my ex just like you are. Use this extra time, money, energy to invest in yourself and become the best possible version of yourself. I also ask myself what value she added to my life and the answer is next to nothing for me so that helps.

onpuzzle · 2019-05-08T21:23:04+00:00

Mutual breakup..hah. I heard this many times and always wondered how it happens? Did you guys count to 3 and announced at the same time you no longer want to be a couple? I doubt it. So who said it first? That person broke up with the other one.

Life tips 101 from /u/onpuzzle

Title	why do i keep thinking about my ex?
Author	VloneGuy
Upvotes	8
Comments	16
Date	May 8, 2019 7:05 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bm9biy/why_do_i_keep_thinking_about_my_ex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-do-i-keep-thinking-about-my-ex.237667 https://theredarchive.com/post/237667

Comments