Why do I crave drama in my life? When things seem to be going really well, I seem to subconsciously impede and sabotage my own progress and efforts.

It happens in my interpersonal relationships, specifically with my family. I work really hard building trust with my parents, but am willing to throw it all away, by triggering them with trivial shit but nonetheless lapses in accountability.

It's like I'm shooting myself in the foot to show them I can tie a tourniquet. It's like I'm intentionally failing to prove to them I can pick myself up from failure. It's like I'm wanting to up, move out, and take my independence but my impulsive actions tell me I'm not ready.

Edit: I'm 20.5 yrs old