WHY do we get oneitis?

RedApathy · 2016-03-13T04:03:41+00:00

Basically, forming pair bonds with a woman was a viable mating strategy for men in our ancestral past.

For a more in depth answer you could look for EP research on the topic. However, I'm not sure if there is a word synonymous with oneitis in the literature.

OnlyTRP · 2016-03-13T04:06:40+00:00

Because lazy and have no abundance mentality.

Read this: http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/30/there-is-no-one/

It’s just too terrible to contemplate that there maybe no ONE or there maybe several ONEs to spend their lives with. This western romanticized mythology is based on the premise that there is only ONE perfect mate for any single individual and as much as a lifetime can and should be spent in constant search of this ‘soulmate.’ So strong and so pervasive is this myth in our collective society that it has become akin to a religious statement and in fact has been integrated into many religious doctrines as feminization of western culture has spread.

PlansAndPlates · 2016-03-13T06:08:24+00:00

I've got a theory.

We evolved in small tribes so mate abundance was the exception, not the norm. If you lost your girl, that might be the only girl you'd ever have. It happens today, men get one girl or no girls their entire life, and we live in 'tribes' where there is abundance. So imagine how much worse it was with <100 person tribes. Rejection also signals to other women you're undesirable, causing a negative feedback loop that makes you more undesirable. This could be because of a number of reasons, all of them negative; You're unhealthy, you're weak, you couldn't provide for or defend her. This does not bode well for your reproductive potential.

I think this means abundance mentality is not default, it's a mindset that needs to be created. Oneitis is the default.

Combining the lack of options and the demonstration of undesirability, it's in the man's best interest not to be rejected by his mate, so he develops oneitis and tries to do whatever he can to keep her around.

Luckily we don't live in tribes anymore, there's millions of women for you, so you don't have to worry about a lack of abundance and you don't have to worry about the tribe leaving you because you got dumped.

Plan_of_Action · 2016-03-13T04:09:02+00:00

I think what people miss when answering this question is that the question is really, 'If oneitis is so detrimental to our sex life, then why would such an instinct be so prevalent?' Not just 'What's the TRP reason it happens?'

'Why wouldn't our instinct be more useful?'

I think the answer is that at one point in time oneitis would develop to protect our unborn babies. It's a mating strategy for guys who invest into one woman for a more surefire way of spreading their genes. It's for betas who don't think they could easily get more bitches. Unfortunately due to programming, lower testosterone, and a number of other factors, this drive has gotten way out of hand and is now counter productive.

A guy should never develop oneitis for a bitch he's never even screwed but it happens all the time. Usually it's because the guy doesn't realize how much of a cuck he is, again due to programming. (Nice guy gets the girl in the end)

For me before TRP and diversifying my pussy portfolio I would feel the full force of a breakup every time. It was the same pain as losing a child although I'd wager not as intense. It's because technically in centuries past I would have lost my baby with her.

You don't have to want to have children for this to work either. Your instincts don't give a fuck what you want.

DirtyProject0r · 2016-03-13T10:52:23+00:00

In my opinion, oneitis is the result of a lack of options to get female intimacy (in various degrees). From my own experience oneitis occurs when options to intimacy (this can be sex, kino or just conversation) are limited to one female individual. If one source to intimacy gets cut off, everything is cut off. I get desperate. However, if multiple sources for female intimacy are available and one source gets cut off, there are still options available. I am not desperate because I still have options, who cares that one of my sources got cut off.

Imagine if there is only one supermarket in your town/city and it gets cut off. You freak out right? But when there are multiple supermarkets in your town/city and one gets closed, you do not give a shit.

PantsonFire1234 · 2016-03-13T12:54:25+00:00

You don't get oneitis anymore once you understand women.

BrunoOh · 2016-03-13T05:10:21+00:00

It's your hindbrain telling you to take care of that woman and your child to have them survive.

rpdarkydark · 2016-03-13T12:54:36+00:00

I see RP truths everywhere, like today I was watching an animal documentary and it made me think of this question on the origin of the oneitis scourge. My best guess validated by focused armchair scientific research:

Gorillas and lions, apex predators like us, both have tribal structures of one dominant male with a harem to support only the top male while all other males get no pussy at all. That is until they kill or banish the top male and then that harem is all the property of the new leader, for a time. The first action item for the new leader is always to kill off all small children of the fallen leader. Most believe this is an effort to get the ladies wanting to get busy making him some babies so that his seed survives him but also to guarantee no resources are wasted on the toppled leader's seeds.

So in terms of oneitis, I wonder if that is the instinct baked into us, to preserve access to her>our relationship>our kids>our legacy. Coming from a situation where you had to be willing to risk everything, in an irrational gut instinct to hold on against any odds, just to wager some small chance that your legacy would survive you...this starts to sound like the feeling of oneitis I used to experience.

So the next time you feel oneitis coming on just repeat in your mind: bad bald monkey! abunbdance mentality!

All_Ads_Deceive · 2016-03-14T09:31:24+00:00

Low testosterone

Title	WHY do we get oneitis?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	March 13, 2016 3:57 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4a6y02/why_do_we_get_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-do-we-get-oneitis.161946 https://theredarchive.com/post/161946

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