I’ve been working at this new location for about 3 months or so, and have always avoided even remotely showing interest in the female coworkers (don’t shit where I eat), but I’ve developed this ridiculous schoolboy type crush on one. It’s bad, like I usually run away, giggling like a little girl when she simply looks at me. Truth be told, I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, I’ve never been intimidated like this before. I’ve always either just not been interested or full bore go-for-it, though sometimes I’ve just walked away when the competition too plentiful, but this is more like extreme fear. Part of it is me not wanting to mix work with play, which is compounded by a no-fraternization policy for those on my position, the other part is my confusion. If I somehow haven’t run away and I’m interacting with her or with people near her, my palms are sweating or my chest is pounding or I’m outright forgetting to breathe. I know I’m psyching myself out and living in a negative Nancy mindset, thinking she’ll probably just laugh in my face or file a complaint against me, but I just can’t help it. If I had booze in me, wouldn’t be an issue, it is called liquid courage for a reason. But that would be “unprofessional.”

But for real, why can’t I even chat this girl up, but have zero inhibitions when talking to others?

Then my other issue, the no-fraternization policy is only a temporary roadblock, I don’t plan on staying here for any long term. But if I somehow manage to break this fear, how do I navigate the waters of showing interest and taking those first steps, without being full blown obvious?

And I guess I should mention, the few (literally 2) people who know I’m interested have both been saying good things but one also mentioned that this girls boyfriend was killed in a car crash two months ago, does it make me a scumbag to even begin trying any moves?

TLDR; why am I suddenly a pussy and how do I climb this hill