Back story: Already spinning plates and on Tinder looking for more but not anything serious. Match with a girl roughly a year ago and we hit it off. Five months later she asks me, “So what are we?” and by this point, she had become my main and fallen way too hard for me. I declined any official status and then eventually got suckered into “well let’s just see how this goes”. She hadn’t opened up about her sexual history at this point and I didn’t care to ask since she was just a fwb. Dating for 7 months as of this post.

Within the last few weeks: I learn from her that her notch count is just above 130. Got cheated on early in college + low self esteem = went on a rampage over the course of 2 years during college. Has had a threesome, group orgy, etc. Got diagnosed and medicated and has been on the improvement the last 2.5-3 years. Also experienced a traumatic non-consensual sexual encounter which has left her with involuntary vomiting when getting to know new partners.

Overall she’s an excellent person, great career, and actually checks off several items on what makes a good partner. Financially responsible, doesn’t party, etc. Lacks nothing in the bedroom nor limits my imaginations either so sex life is great. Her entire family is solid too. Both in our mid-20s.

Ask: If I’d have known what I know now, I would’ve kept our relationship as a fwb or something of that status. I hadn’t taken the relationship seriously at all until the last couple of months so vetting was on the back burner. But now I know and am conflicted about her past because I wouldn’t date someone with that low of a self image or who’s been used and abused by that many people.

Thoughts, gents?