I've been with the first girl I've ever had sex with for about 2 months now, fucking on and off and I may have introduced some potential boyfriend behaviors; holding hands, staying the night, going on dates.

I only realized after I did these things that this may lead the girl to believe that I want to be in an LTR when in reality I was only doing these things because I liked them.

Another thing I realized is that I am severely attached to this girl. She took my virginity and does a lot for me. Treats me, does whatever the fuck I want in bed, and has been well behaved for the last 2 months.

I ignored her for a week because I was butthurt at a comment she made but she doesn't know this. I have never let her know if I was upset or sad/whatever and the interest is clearly fading.

I am now starting to realize that I don't love myself. The thought of not being with this girl is killing me. I have clearly attached myself to her and want to do everything in my power to keep whatever the fuck this is going. She has never mentioned "the talk" yet but I honestly have no fucking idea what to do at this point.

Additionally, I recognize that the sidebar says to find and talk to other girls and the problem will go away. I feel as if I need to learn how to love myself, and I don't know if it's my bluepill self or what but I feel bad for what I have done to this girl. I haven't been completely congruent with myself and my actions and have played petty games with her. She has taken them in stride but I feel bad in pursuing other girls even though that I know that she could drop me in half a second and never think about me again.

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Any and all advice is appreciated.