My ego controls me

This is just a vent post.

There's this girl I went on a few dates with. Long story short she was withholding sex 'playing it safe' were her words. On the 4th date I was done. She isn't that attractive but I would have sex with her but she isn't a 10 put it that way.

Now we stopped dating and have still communicated (I'm doing work on her house, yea..). Anyway the point is it kills my ego we didn't have sex and I can't let it go.

I'll be in her company and be like "this girl ain't all that" it's no biggy. Or look at her in a certain light and be like "na she ain't even attractive."

Then I'm at home and I can feel it chewing away at me.

Then I know if I saw her again all that chewing away that occured would be gone and I'd be thinking 'meh' again.

I can't break this cycle I've been doing it with girls for years.

I should add there was a part of me that thought if I pretend to want a relationship I could have eventually got her into bed but that kills my ego even more because if that fails I'd feel an even bigger fool. I'm at a dead end..