I was starting to have a victim mindset when it came to meeting girls on dating apps. I have briefly used Tinder Bumble and Hinge many times on and off over the span of the last two years or so. tonight my mind was changed about these apps, and hope has been restored.

matched a decently looking attractive girl on bumble last week, but after matching upon further inspection, I noticed that her pictures looked a little blurry and old. I immediately figured that she was likely a catfish. I decided to continue the conversation after receiving a warm open from her, I figured I would consider it practice for my text game. after about 10 to 15 messages spread out across the span of a couple of a couple of days, I had gotten her to agree to my soft close. I made a joke about how I would like to get her Instagram and FaceTime beforehand to make sure she was not a “serial killer“. she then informed me that she doesn’t use Instagram very much and doesn’t take a lot of pictures, but she agreed to the FaceTime.

once I was able to get her on the FaceTime, I realized that she was actually attractive. we wound up having a very lighthearted and funny joking around type of conversation for about 40 minutes, which also had a bit of serious get to know you type of conversation mixed in as well. It was safe to say that she passed the vibe check. I decided to end the FaceTime conversation while it was still on a high note. before we hung up, I made sure to get her to agree to a soft close again.

A couple of days of brief 5 to 10 text messages per day over this past weekend i was able to set up an official date for tonight.

When I woke up today, my nerves had gotten the best of me. I have met plenty of people on Instagram in real life, but the difference here is that I would usually have long dragged out text conversations with those people. this would be the first person I would successfully meet up with from OLD apps, and we did not have very much to work with in terms of call back information. I had just broken up with my girl one month ago and have not had any luck in bars or with OLD, so I knew that I had to force myself to see this one through. I could not let my anxiety get the best of me.

We had agreed to meet at a park at 7 PM, Grab a quick bite to eat and then go for a walk. I arrived at 6:50 PM and sat in my car for five minutes having a bit of anxiety, but I had convinced myself that odds are most likely that she was experiencing the same level of anxiety if not more. (this is a powerful mindset to convince yourself of even if it’s not actually true). at 7:05 she had finally arrived and we met by the ice cream truck. I immediately walked up to her and broke the touch barrier by giving her a hug to which she was very receptive of. the vibes were definitely a little bit awkward at first, which is something I am not used to when meeting someone from the Internet. in my head, the doubts were starting to arise. I immediately reframed the doubts in my mind. I told myself “what do I have to lose by seeing this through?” We walked to a local pizza shop, where we had a bit of get to know you talk. So far the conversation has been 95% platonic I pay for our slices and drinks and then we begin walking back to the park. this is where the vibes start to pick up.

We begin our walk in the park and continue with very slight flirting, mostly platonic talk though. I could tell she was attracted to me, but I couldn’t find the right opportunity to make a move was prepared to end the date very shortly with no kiss. as we were headed back to where my car was, she suggested that we go out on the rocks at the park and watch the sunset. This was the wake up call in my mind. This was the confirmation that I needed that showed that she was waiting for me to make a move, we get some ice cream and then go out on the rocks. while walking on the rocks headed to our seat, I put my hand out as an offer for her to hold it so that way she could use me to help her balance. this is where the flirting picked up and the logical talk began to cease.

Out on the rocks, I was still waiting for the perfect opportunity to make my move. I was trying and trying, closing proximity between us. There was a moment where I decided I was just gonna go for it. During a moment of heavy eye contact, I got very close to her face and asked her what color her eyes were. she did not seem to pick up on what I was trying to do and put a flashlight on her eyes which pretty much killed my opportunity at this moment.

I was still prepared to end the night on a high note, but without having a first kiss when she suggested that we walk around a little more. at this point, we were holding hands while walking 100% of the time. I knew it was going to happen. I was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to make my move. We wound up walking to a playground by her middle school that was very dark and had no one around. I knew this was where I had to make it happen.

After hanging out in there for a little bit, I finally found an opportunity to just go for it. She was very receptive, and I actually realized once I went in for the kiss that she seemed to be a bit inexperienced (21F). After this kiss, the vibes picked up pretty heavy.

We wound up going back to the park and sitting on a bench and heavily making out for a while. They were quite a lot of witnesses still at the park despite it being 2 AM, so I didn’t want to escalate too hard. She also did not seem to open to the idea of coming back to my place. I decided I would make out with her for a little bit. I decided I would make out with her for a little bit and give her some neck kisses in the hopes of turning her on and making her want more next time. It seemed to work because as I started to pull away my kisses she just kept going in for more. At around 2:30 AM I decided that I would “get her home before her mom gets mad” she agreed and I dropped her off home.

Although I did not close, I am very proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone, finally meeting a girl from OLD, and finding an opportunity to make a move. She was pretty cute and I am pretty confident that I will be able to close in the near future.

I figured I would write this post in case there is anyone that was in a similar position as me and doesn’t know what to expect or how to maneuver this situation. thank you for reading and if you have any questions or suggestions or comments in general, please feel free to share