21M going on my first date since high school tonight, any general advice to almost guarantee a good time?

recyclablebantha · 2013-04-11T15:01:40+00:00

As far as your attitude going into the date: Try to balance the idea of Outcome Independence with the idea of assuming attraction on her part.....

Outcome independence: because if you assume something will happen, it will change your attitude and make it ironically less likely that something will happen. Instead, focus on the fun in whatever it is you are doing.....
Assuming attraction: Do what you can to go in with the attitude that you are dead sexy.... and don't forget it.

ZiplockedHead · 2013-04-11T17:32:43+00:00

One of the "scary" things in dates are the silent moments, when it starts creeping into "awkward". Here are 2 ways to deal with it:

(1) In your mind completely erase the notion that silence = something wrong. Not at all. It can be a good time to reflect on what you talked about and just think about the person you're with. However to make it more comfortable for your partner, try "observing" her at that time. Not just look, but examine her and give hints of smiles at the same time, like you're looking at a piece of art.

(2) Want to kill the silence? Can't think of anything?! Ask a totally random question using options. What do I mean by that? Asking people big open-ended questions (especially personal ones or philosophical ones) will results in a lot of "hmm... um..." and no real answer. Instead, give a silly question with options to choose from and usually a conversation will start from it right away which you can carry into more interesting areas. A lot of the times the other person won't even care about the options presented so much as there's something to start from. Examples you say? Sure, here's a couple. Coke vs. Pepsi? Cpt. Kirk or Cpt. Picard? Vanilla Ice-cream or Chocolate Ice-cream? Give the question more context or just shoot it straight up like that out of nowhere. Doesn't matter. The girl asked you out and she wants to talk, as long as you show caring about her opinion she won't shut up until she runs out of things to say. Haha.

Good luck buddy.

SanguineHaze · 2013-04-11T15:11:44+00:00

Focus on having a good time. Don't make expectations about how things will go. That's seriously the only advice you need.

To steal a line from Watsky: "All I'm gonna focus on is this fine night, cuz all I really know is that this life is finite."

itsmevichet · 2013-04-11T17:27:52+00:00

No one can guarantee a good time, but:

Have a plan, but don't feel like you're shackled to it. If both of you decide in the middle of the date that you want to go ice skating or karaoke or whatever, be spontaneous.
Smile a lot. Maintain eye contact. Don't force topics, but absolutely test out kino as soon as you can. A joke helps.
Worst thing that happens is you don't get a second date. Don't sweat it. You're getting to know a girl, not trying to marry her.

Keep it cool, dawg.

2013-04-11T19:59:31+00:00

1) DO NOT go to a movie. This is a waste of time on a first date. Would you rather be getting to know her better or staring at a screen awkwardly next to her? I'd take option one.

2) Show genuine interest in what she has to say. Her talking shouldn't just be a chance for you to take a breath and form your next sentence. There is no hard and fast ratio, but if you've done it right she should be talking at least 60% of the time.

3) Kino as much as possible without being creepy. The more you invest early on, the more comfortable you will become with being close to each other, and the more you can accelerate attraction building.

Use those 3 simple tips and you'll do fine.

t3h_kommand-0 · 2013-04-12T04:47:31+00:00

i think "be yourself" is the only advice you should listen to brother

Title	21M going on my first date since high school tonight, any general advice to almost guarantee a good time?
Author	BenjaminTalam
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	April 11, 2013 2:54 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1c4ybk/21m_going_on_my_first_date_since_high_school/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/21m-going-on-my-first-date-since-high-school.1350432 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350432

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