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2nd dates w/ dating apps

RealisticError · 2018-02-22T23:57:07+00:00

I have no trouble getting numbers and setting up dates through apps. I've gotten a phone number in 3 messages before. And I rarely get flakes. They always...

RealisticError

February 22, 2018

2 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	2nd dates w/ dating apps
Author	RealisticError
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	February 22, 2018 11:57 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7zjmrk/2nd_dates_w_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/2nd-dates-w-dating-apps.1442140 https://theredarchive.com/post/1442140

Comments

[–]S3xb3ard 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]RealisticError 8 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Usually do coffee if during the day or they don't drink, otherwise a bar. If at the bar I like to play skee ball or darts. I try and find out what she is passionate about and see if I connect with anything, so common topics are food/cooking, travel, and books. Laughter and engagement varies, but I would say usually there are small laughs and engagement depends on if I can hit one of the interests she is passionate about.

I made out with 1 of them, 2 of them I think they expected me to kiss them and I probably should've gone for it, was not getting positive vibes to go for the kiss on the other 4. I'd say I enjoy parts of the dates, it's sometimes hard for me to be in the moment and get out of my head. I usually send a text the next day saying I had fun with some callback humor to something that was said/happened on the date. They'll respond. When I follow up saying I'd like to see them again, radio silence.

Hard to say the turning point for all of them, but I can do the 3 most recent. The first one I thought was going really well, did some light teasing, she was probably laughing the most out of them. We finished our drinks and she was asking what we should do, if we should get another round, etc. But I didn't feel like paying for a 2nd round of drinks and it was dinner time and I didn't want to pay for dinner either, so I just closed out the tab and called it a night. The second girl I met after work and she seemed pretty low energy, was resting her head on her hand a lot, didn't really know what to do to get her more excited. The third chick after we hugged initially I noticed she was kind of standing a couple feet away most of the time and had her arms folded part of the time, so it felt like I was fighting an uphill battle.

[–]headonbot_ 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]S3xb3ard 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Coffee is a terrible idea for a date for many reasons I won’t get into here.

It sounds like you approach dates in a very formulaic (in a bad way) manner. The conversation topics you mentioned are probably the most generic way to talk to someone. I’m not saying avoid them at all costs or anything, but rather that by focusing on those things instead of taking risks and being more authentic, you come off as boring and fail to make genuine connections. Tell interesting and funny stories that show pieces of who you are and what kind of a life you live. Stop worrying about what you talk about and focus more on how you talk about it. Make jokes, banter, flirt, and let the conversation take you where it will. Stop trying to impress/not offend her and start trying to have fun with her in your conversation and on your date.

Your date ideas sound meh. Active dates are way better. As an example, last week I did a scary-themed escape room, then took my date to watch the sunset on the roof of a parkade we climbed and I mixed her a drink I invented (I like to bartend). We had a really good connection and I’m seeing her again tomorrow. I’m not saying you have to be creative all the time, bar dates can be really fun too, but at least do them right. Go to a bar where you know a lot of people, get her dancing, and play more engaging games (and trash talk her a lot while playing). Try to have fun on your dates.

I wrote a comment about physical escalation on dates recently. I’m too lazy to rewrite it, but I recommend you read it. The fact that you only kissed 1 out of 7 should tell you something. Always go for the kiss.

And come on, wtf were you doing with the one girl who seemed genuinely into you? What you did probably came off as a soft rejection to her. If you’re going to be cheap about it, at least counter-offer a second round at your place so she knows your interested.