3 months single from ltr, miserable

SwordfshII · 2014-03-19T03:00:52+00:00

First, stop fucking her, you are fucking yourself each time. She needs to be gone from your life. Second, you need to get your mind right, before anything else.

Read this:

After every breakup I tend to grow the most as a person, becoming different but also the same. Every breakup is different, and how I grow always changes, but..... you need to grow after a breakup.

After one, I took up weightlifting, not for anyone else, but for me. To make my mind and body strong, to be proud of myself, to find my limits and shatter them, to get back that inner confidence. I still lift to this day, and there is nothing like that satified, exhausted, drenched with sweat feeling after you hit a new PR.

Another one I decided to travel, experience new cultures, sights and people. You truly soak everything in, you learn and the experiences last a lifetime. Best times ever, and priceless memories created.

So, put the booze away, get off your asses. Focus on you, lift weights, excel at your job, travel, get out of your comfort zone, exceed your own expectations. GROW, IMPROVE and you will emerge from that cocoon of sadness. The primary focus here is on yourself. You shouldn't look/think/or hit on any women. You aren't ready, and you will only BE ready if you don't care about having a woman.

The person you miss doesn't exist, maybe they never did. The person you were is gone, so all you can do now is to get back to being happy with yourself.

Every one of my best relationships I just kind of fell into as I was improving myself, and didn't care about women or getting laid. I'm positive the same will happen to you.

HappyJerk · 2014-03-19T03:45:05+00:00

First of all, stop hanging out with your girlfriend. I don't care if she is fucking you. She is using you as an emotional tampon and is wrecking your self esteem. You can't start feeling better until you cut her out of your life. After any break up you need at least 60 days no-contact. So tell her to stop contacting you, unfriend her, delete her number, and don't put yourself in situations where you will see her. Chances are, she will want you back. Don't take her back. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

Step 2: You need to improve yourself. Hit the gym, start eating better, start reading motivational, uplifting shit. The only real way to get over a GF is to become a different person than the one who got dumped. Getting dumped is a huge blow to your ego because a person is saying to you: I have analyzed all of your qualities from head to toe, I know you better than anybody, and you just don't stack up. No matter how many other girls you fuck, no matter how you try to distract yourself, you will not be able to overcome that huge ego blow. So the only way to get over it is to literally become a different person: better dressed, better looking, bigger dick, etc... And yes, when she sees the new you, she will want you back. Don't take her back.

Don't try to fill this hole by getting new girls. It won't work. It's like trying to kick a crack addiction with meth. You need to become happy with yourself first. If you do talk to girls, hang out with them, etc... practice drawing boundaries. If they offer you even the slightest bit of bad behavior next them. Part of the reason your self esteem is so low is that you're used to your GF treating you like shit so that's what you think you are now. You need to break out of that mindset.

Good luck.

ithearrow · 2014-03-19T02:09:02+00:00

I reccomend the book feeling good by David Burns. In your particular situaiton, you feel as bored and unhappy when you're alone. One of the suggestions from the book was to create a pleasure predicting sheet.

Basically you need to get more involved in life! start planning more productive activities such as working out, reading a book, or learning a new instrument .Take a break from this girl as you two seem to not be happy with each other anymore.

BabiesThinkImCute · 2014-03-19T02:22:36+00:00

Hey man, It sounds like you are going through a rough time. I would say I'm recovering from a similar place, in that I was very very messed up following the end of a LTR (different situation then you're in though). What I did was start to focus on things I enjoyed doing, or rather thought i enjoyed doing, because at the time everything made me miserable. Luckily eventually I was genuinely enjoying doing them. If I were you I would stop talking to her, but again I have never been in your situation.

I don't know what would work best for you, and don't want to tell you that you have to do something but I think you know smoking weed and drinking will not help get you out of depression. As most of the Seddit community will tell you, be happy with yourself before you expect to be happy with the people around you. So again, force yourself to do things you think you may enjoy, learn a martial art or an instrument, take a night class, or get into photography. You don't have to be good at any of them, but self improvement feels awesome and will be the first step to feeling better about yourself. Good luck man!

Title	3 months single from ltr, miserable
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	March 19, 2014 1:43 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/20ruxu/3_months_single_from_ltr_miserable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/3-months-single-from-ltr-miserable.1367765 https://theredarchive.com/post/1367765

Comments