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[–]CokeCanNinja 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Trust me, that "fuck it" attitude works. It works for everyone. You just need to be really good at it. Go out and practice. Don't focus on one girl, you'll get one-itis.
[–]RichterScale 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I don't permanently focus on one girl. If I strike up a small connection with someone, I want it to work out (date/sex/relationship). That's why I get nervous, but I don't want to feel that.
[–]CokeCanNinja 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Are you doing good kino? 'Cause that's the best way to turn a small spark into a flame. You still need good conversation though.
[–]RichterScale 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I don't know what kino is. Although, I always see it on here, I couldn't find it in the FAQ post.
[–]CokeCanNinja 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It's physical touching during a conversation. Touching a shoulder, arm, etc. It seems creepy, but it helps a lot.
[–]RichterScale 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Oh.. I think I do that sometimes? I definitely don't notice it though. Any good tips/posts that touch (npi) on that?
[–]CokeCanNinja 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is a good introduction, also google "kino escalation ladder".
[–]RichterScale 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks man
[–]CokeCanNinja 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No problem. Now get out there are practice so you can close some #s!
[–]thedangerboy 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That is one-itis. Just enjoy the interaction for what it is and don't get mad because it did not grow into more.
Ok I can understand not getting mad, but the 'whatever it didn't work' approach doesn't really get you anywhere either. I need to know what I did wrong and how to improve.
[–]thedangerboy 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't think of it as "whatever it didn't work", when you interact, just have fun. If you connect with her in talking, offer to do it again some time but in a unique way. If she declines, then smile, walk away and think about how to improve, e.g. better kino, more eye contact, listen to her more or ask her questions where she reveals more about herself (dreams, passions, etc.).
I think you need to not meet every girl as a potential mate, i.e. every time you talk to a girl you are thinking "I wonder if we will be good partners". This puts a lot of pressure on you to impress her and a lot of weight on everything she says/does. Such a situation will not be a good environment to start any relationship.
Try something different to re-frame your thinking. For instance, try to simply meet 10 girls over the course of a week and just get an introduction and that's it. The following week, try to meet 15 girls.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The Definitive Guide To Confidence: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s9m4b/the_definitive_guide_to_confidence/
NUF SAID!
[–]seekingagirl 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What helps me is to stop thinking of these girls as people you want to sleep with (or anything specific). You're getting nervous because you have a specific goal in mind and the idea of failing to meet that goal manifests as nerves.
Part of being confident is to realize you don't care how the intereaction turns out; you don't need her.
Good luck!
Thanks this makes good sense. So if I stop thinking of these girls as people I want to sleep with, then how should I think of them?
[–]seekingagirl 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You should think of everybody as someone awesome and potentially interesting to get to know because you can add value to each others' lives. No expectations except to see if they're fit for your awesomeness.
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[–]CokeCanNinja 2 points3 points4 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]RichterScale 0 points1 point2 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]CokeCanNinja 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]RichterScale 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]CokeCanNinja 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]RichterScale 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CokeCanNinja 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thedangerboy 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RichterScale 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]seekingagirl 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RichterScale 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]seekingagirl 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link