Ive kinda known this about myself for a while but never grasped it in the context of my game. Im a sociopath. Thats not the murderer, those are psychopaths. Sociopaths are similar in a lot of ways, but mostly just want to thrive at societies expense well enough to be able to be alone for the rest of their life. Psychos and socios both fall under anti social personality disorder. Thats the way ive been my whole life. I dont want to talk, to anyone, ever, if i can get away with it. The only reason i do with women is to get laid and i spend most my time finding ways to do it without talking by going dancing.

Theres a demographic of women out there that i meet that i know are interested in me, however, but i know they are talk jobs, and id rather get punched in the face than put up with it. Still, it bothers me that these chicks are juuuuust out of my reach, and id have em if i could just handle chatting for a while. I try sometimes. It becomes obvious though that i am not enjoying myself, and that feeling always makes it into the girl im trying to talk to and kills the interaction. What can i do? How can i enjoy something i have hated my whole life?