A cry for help

eric_shen · 2017-12-18T08:33:49+00:00

My dude, don't even worry. I'm on the same boat as you; girlfriend broke up with me (immediately slept with many many other guys) and I was torn. This was about 9 months ago.

There's certain solace in being "alone". You're a true, raw, barebones, you. No partner to alter you, no friend to influence your behaviour, everything you do is you.

Stay true to yourself. Do whatever tf you feel like doing, without harming anyone else. Let yourself be angry. Let yourself be sad. Don't let anyone tell you it's not good to feel sad just as it is to feel happy.

PS tinder and bumble suck after a break up and that's a fact. Anywhere you are, from now on, talk to eeeveryone. The old lady at the bus stop, the person behind you in line at the coffee shop, the barista, the cashier, the associate, someone beside you on a bench, just talk to eeeveryone so that approaching girls becomes a less nerve-wracking thing to do BECAUSE that's better than tinder and bumble.

All the best

Waffleninja6ooo · 2017-12-18T11:38:22+00:00

If you were emotionally invested in that relationship, I'd hope that you'd be heartbroken. You did your part, but it takes two for a relationship. You need to realize it was her not uou. She's already out there, and what not, that's her, and it shows she didn't do her part. Again HER part not yours.

Now, before you try to build yourself anew, cry. Just mourn, your relationship died, you saw potential, but it died, so cry, it's okay. It shows you're human, now is not the time to "man up", to hell with that. You need this out of your system. Forget her, but don't rush the process.

Slowly but surely, you'll realize (and I believe you already have), that you can't go on like this, broken. Get help. You need to support yourself on others. It doesn't show that you are weak, it shows that you're not stupid and an adult who realizes his limits. If you don't have friends or adult family members, I really recommend children. They can't hate you, and they look up to you, they can easily fill part of that hole your ex left. You can spoil them, chat, play. If you don't have any adults or children, a simple pet, or even an online community (irl people is the most ideal, but whatever you can find). Just, don't refuse help, you're going to need it, and there is no shame.

Okay, so you're taller. Get your life rolling again. Hobbies, games, new studies, find something besides your job/routine, spice it up. You're a new (or at least making a new) person. We can't go back, you've gained life experience. So you gotta act the part, find something new, (or old that was once abandoned). Also BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING. You have worth, just add to it, it's okay to be a bit selfish right now(Just don't spend too much). New video game, watch, shoes, whatever. Right now, it's YOU time. (Hell yeah)

This new person will need new friends. Make new friends, if in the past (and future) you were able to up to or find women with romantic interest, you can do the same on easy mode. Find people with your jnterests and go hangout.

Okay, You're built anew, with strong pillars made up of supporting people, the final step is getting back in the game. This is only when you feel up for it, but you did it once, you're older, you've only gained knowledge and experience. Just don't get into the mentallity of "Oh what's the use, the same always happens". I'd pay attention to what the guys are saying, you have worth. I know you know we're right but I need you FEEL that we're right.

TL;DR- Cry and mourn, you're human not weak. Gain support, you're human not weak. Build yourself up with help, you're human not weak. When you feel up for it, get out there again with a smile, you're a badass, not weak.

When something goes through fire it either hardens or burns to ashes. Decide which one you are and commit to it.

kieflicious · 2017-12-18T16:43:48+00:00

I don't know if this will help, but I'll do my best. I'm in a similar situation. Long story short, I've lost my dog, my engagement, my apartment, my job, and my sanity in the course of a year.

All I can say while not trying to compare my pain to yours, is it's okay to feel everything you're feeling. It's okay to feel like people don't understand what you're going through and what you're feeling. It's okay to cry. It's okay to seek professional help without feeling weak for doing so. As a man I know what it's like to be emotionally abused and feel a double standard about being strong and not letting it get to you, but I know it hurts the most. It's okay to have trust issues, it's okay to wonder how someone could be so heartless and be human. It's okay to not want to have anything sexual with women for awhile. It's okay to be completely selfish right now.

Just remember, you're not alone. If you ever want to talk, PM me.

gh0stem · 2017-12-18T07:42:49+00:00

Someone hopefully disagrees with the first two replies. Before this break-up I was just dealing with another break-up. Once I finally got over her I found my most recent ex. I'm fucking tired of experiencing this. I just want to be happy single, and never put myself in danger like this again.

bloodwolf557 · 2017-12-18T07:26:03+00:00

Well just move on. It's harsh but it's the only option you have is suck up and move on to someone else. It's hurts yes but it's part of life

Steve_Savage · 2017-12-18T07:35:36+00:00

The best cure for an ex is a new girlfriend.

Title	A cry for help
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	7
Date	December 18, 2017 7:22 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7kjq90/a_cry_for_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-cry-for-help.1438650 https://theredarchive.com/post/1438650

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