From a young age on we get approval and praise from our mothers if we do 'good'. In that way we get conditioned to womens approval. It is almost like an addiction. We work hard and hope to get approval (in form of attention) from women. If we approach, we are afraid to fuck up, be disapproved by women and be a 'bad boy'. It goes against our addiction and it hurts but it also starts to break our conditioning. When we learn to seek approval from ourselfs instead of women, we learn to approach with ease; We become free and with that much more attractive to women, as they can't control us anymore.