A common trend I see with men and women (especially in a dating context) is that a majority of them are almost completely consumed by their fears, thought patterns and negative emotions to the point where they become resentful, chronically angry and simply unpleasant to be around.

This is a recipe for chronic depression and dissatisfaction.

Here is how to break out of this downward spiral and find inner peace:

  • Stop avoiding personal responsibility and blaming the world for your problems.

Carrying the weight of responsibility definitely sucks and it's hard but ultimately, this is what matures you and what gives your life meaning.

It is also a very good way to reclaim your personal power and to have a sense of control over your life and yourself.

Taking personal responsibility means to own up to your flaws, to face the consequences of your actions and to sit in the drivers seat in your life.

  • Know what and who you can control.

You can only really control:

  • Yourself.

  • How you choose to react to your emotions and the events in your life.

  • The direction your life takes.

  • The environment you are in.

  • Who you allow into your life.

  • How much money you have.

What you can't really control:

  • Other people.

  • The actions they take and the decisions they make. You can certainly influence that but it is not you who takes or makes them.

  • Whether or not someone feels attracted to you. Again, you can influence this to some degree but not control it.

  • You are not your beliefs, emotions or thoughts.

You are the consciousness within these things arise. Therefore, you have no obligation to hold on to unwanted beliefs, emotions or thoughts or to treat them as truth.

  • Learn to deal with pain.

If you want to live a life without any kind of pain, then I am sorry to tell you that nobody will ever go through life unscarred unless you live in your little comfort-zone all the time.

In fact, it is those who learned to be resilient and who faced a shit ton of discomfort and pain who are at the top.

  • Meditate.

Meditation is not some new-age woo-woo bullshit.

There are numerous scientific studies which prove that meditation changes the brain stricture and has almost exclusively beneficial effects on the mind.

It is like workout for the brain and does it what lifting weights does to your body. It keeps your mind healthy and your focus sharp.