There's a trope a lot of guys buy into, where on a first date your job is to convince a girl you're worth dating, or having sex with.

I call this the "audition mindset" since it's like you're auditioning for her approval.

Doing something expensive or time consuming on a first date is most often a way to try to impress her.

From experience, casual is the best type of first date. You don't know her, you don't know if she's a catfish, or if she's crazy, or if she's bossy and annoying.

So I just meet up for a bite and if I like her vibe I invite her over.

Not saying being romantic and taking her out to dinners is bad. It's not. It can be fun and exciting.

But I keep that for down the line, when we've established we both like each other. That way I'm not trying to impress her. I'm just trying to have fun and enjoy the date.

I made a video talking about this if you want more nuance and detail: https://youtu.be/j3XrrmXiefE