AA in a new environment + groups!

robot_army_mutiny · 2013-04-21T05:51:04+00:00

You were in a new environment. That ups AA. You are always more comfortable in a place you've been a few times before. A somatic therapist taught me that if you slowly look around the room and take in all the details, especially the doors and exits, it will alleviate some of your anxiety - it is a really primitive part of your brain that responds to that.
You were sitting alone at the bar. You had no momentum. You had already put yourself in a non-social little bubble (you even called it creepy yourself). It's all about the subconscious feeling of being part of what's going on, not an outsider.
You forgot the 3 second rule. I always do some warm up sets outside the bar just to get my motor running. Any old shit is fine - just asking people for directions will at least get your brain into a "talking to people" mode.
You weren't in "job" mode, you were in "pickup" mode, so the stakes were higher. You've grown desensitized to talking to people for your job, and while I'm sure that helps you, in your mind you were in a different situation.

Don't worry, this happens to everyone. I couldn't even try to count the number of times I have chickened out on a set. You just don't let it ruin your night, and go for the next one. The first set is never that good, anyway. I always think of the first three as just getting in state. After about 3 sets, my AA pretty much disappears, so it is a lot more natural and fun.

Groups - whenever you open groups, you open the whole group, but you direct your attention to the guys. If it is all females, to the alpha female, the queen bee, the mother hen. It's usually easy to tell who that is. You have to be a little bit louder than what probably feels normal, because you have to stop their conversation and get the whole group's attention. It doesn't work to try to chip off one or two from the group.

So you come up to the group, open the whole group in a commanding voice (you have to act like it's completely normal and cool for you to be doing that), paying the most attention to the guys. What you open with has to be worth stopping their conversation. If you are acting socially skilled and have something interesting to say, they won't question the interruption.

Also, remember the old advice from Mystery - set your mood to be just slightly more energetic than the group's. If you are way to up, they'll think you are a spaz. If you are too mellow, you're boring. But if you're just a little higher than them, then you seem like a chance at a natural progression for them into more fun.

So you open with something good - I'm not going to make suggestions here, you should already have that worked out. You have to win over the whole group first. Of course, identify your target. Ignore her if that is part of your normal game. But become a friend of the whole group. I cannot stress that enough. You are not going to get anywhere with one girl from a group if her friends don't approve of you first.

So basically, you are a social guy making friends with this group. You know the basic routine - display value (humor is especially good for groups), get accepted as one of them, then try to isolate your target. If the group has really accepted you as a new member, this shouldn't be too difficult. Isolate her, qualify, possibly kiss, but re-join the group pretty quick. You can't take her hostage. After you are sure that she's attracted to you, you're going to spend a bunch of time with her group - introduce your wings into the group if you have any. It will make it a lot easier on you.

Keep interacting with the group - her friends liking you will make her like you more. You are basically building rapport and trust in the group setting. But occasionally have a moment that is just between you two - like touching her hand where no one can see, or when someone says something weird do that eye contact communication with her (the look that just says "WTF was that?"). Women use looks to communicate with one person while in a group really well. If you can do that as a guy, you seem very socially adept. As time goes by, you can actually pull her aside for some short alone time. Those get longer as the night progresses.

All the usual rules apply. If you can get them (all) to go to multiple venues with you, that's good. Escalate kino. Don't push the sexuality too hard - be the first to back away from a kiss and say "let's rejoin our friends" - and they are "our" friends now, not "her" friends ;o)

Eventually people will start pairing up, leaving, etc. It's a lot easier to get a girl back to a private residence if several of the group are going - it's just continuing the party. From there, the actual seduction is easy. It's best if you can make it your place, but that's not always going to happen.

Just always stay cool with the whole group. If you lose their support you are fucked (or not fucked actually). Plus, you've got like 4 more people to add to your network of social proof and possible later hookups.

I probably left something big out, but that's already a pretty fucking huge wall of text. I guess that I'll put a:

TL;DR Make friends with the whole group, isolate target for a few moments, but basically do the whole thing as a part of her group of friends.

Bevman00 · 2013-04-21T22:31:22+00:00

The unfamiliar venue combined with rolling solo for the night is plenty to get my AA pumping. That said, the only thing you were missing (at first) was momentum.

So here's the only piece of advice you should be taking to the bank: Observe the Three Second Rule. Like this:

Beforehand, you gotta commit to talking to people all night. Being a wallflower will get you nowhere.
Set yourself a manageable goal that's well within your reach, like "Tonight I will exchange names with three different pretty girls". Easy.
When a set or a girl catches your eye, start walking towards her. Three seconds, bro. It doesn't even matter what you say, "How are you?" is a quality opener.

Be sure to FR your next night out :)

Title	AA in a new environment + groups!
Author	Helpmepleaseseddit
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	April 21, 2013 12:09 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1crshj/aa_in_a_new_environment_groups/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/aa-in-a-new-environment-groups.1351041 https://theredarchive.com/post/1351041

Comments