Hey brahs haven't posted here in a while, but I wanted to drop by and give you all this simple, but essential realization. I've been reading and rereading some books because I'm in the process of moving (Texas brahs where you at?) for a new job.

Funny thing, if I hadn't just got the balls and applied for the job I wouldn't be going anywhere haha. The risk was worth it.

So you see this beautiful g i r l coming toward you. You've read up on seduction and you're feeling good, even high like and you're ready to approach.

She gets closer, your heart starts beating faster. You're getting nervous. In a blink of an eye, she passes you. Opportunity gone. You say; "What the fuck man, I've read all this shit on approach anxiety. I was feeling good last night. I know what to do, why couldn't I just fucking do it."

I think everyone gets scared at some point. Even really experienced guys. I think the thing they've mastered is acting despite of fear. I'm not saying you'll always be afraid. With time and practice, you'll train yourself (your amygdala -Anxiety Control Center In Your Brain) in going against your fear and you'll become desensitized to it.

If you have to, do something that I've been repeating and it's help me calm down. Be honest with yourself; say "I'm scared, but there's no one here that's going to harm me, I'm not going to die. Whatever happens I can handle it."

Here's some excerpts from the books I've been reading that I think will really help you guys out:

DIWA - Do It While Afraid

"Many people with SA waste a lot of time thinking about ways to destroy fear, as if fear is the enemy. They look for medication, hypnosis tapes, or they seek that one last piece of knowledge that will make all of their fears disappear. From now on, donʼt try to get rid of your fears before entering social situations. Instead, make it your policy to do it while afraid. DIWA for short. Ironically enough, this is the only way to get rid of your fears permanently.

Haven't you done anything while afraid? Have you ever jumped in a pool while thinking the water will be cold? If you think long and hard you will find you have done many things in your life while afraid. Not only that, you accomplished your proudest achievements, scared."

"Focus on changing your actions, not your feelings. One of the most profound concepts in psychology is the fact that when you do something (actions), your emotions follow along behind. If you wait around to feel good or feel non-anxious, youʼll be waiting forever. If you are scared of making eye contact with people when you walk past them, that fear isnʼt going to go away until you first start making eye contact in spite of that fear. You need to start DOING, and then you will BECOME."

"I go by one mantra: "acknowledge feelings and take appropriate action." Say to yourself that you are afraid, but that you will do it anyway. Don't let the fear stop you. Don't try to make it go away either.

Just watch your fear in a detached way. Recognize that itʼs just a chemical reaction in your body. If you spot it and act anyways, fear will lose its paralyzing grip.

"Fear doesnʼt go away by learning about it. You would think by this time, having studied so much about fear and anxiety, that I wouldn't be afraid of anything. Nope. I am still afraid. Itʼs just that Iʼm afraid of different things now.

I suspect I will be for as long as I live. Continually “leaning into your fears” is a healthy part of life and a great way to grow as a person."

  • The Shyness & Social Anxiety System by Sean Cooper

COURAGEOUS

"As uncertainties always remain and you cannot really be certain of much, this is the optimal approach. More often than you think, the people you label as confident are not certain at all; they are merely able to tolerate uncertainty.

People around you will believe you know what you are doing, though, as they cannot read your mind, and you will be perceived as more spontaneous, secure, relaxed, candid, direct, >fearless, straightforward, unpredictable, adventurous, bold, brave, and interesting. Women often describe a man that they are attracted to in these terms without realizing. that they are all byproducts of his confidence. This is why women find men who take risks sexy, but you do not have to be a firefighter, be a surfer, join the army, ride a skateboard, or ride a motorcycle to get girls.

Women love balls, but you do not have to risk your life to attract women, and I would advise that you not do so. Life is too short as it is. However, you do have to face your fears if you are afraid of things that are harmless. Many males are, and the ones least successful with women are even intimidated by women."

  • The Manual by W. Anton

Choose to Push Your Limits

I suggest you make it a voluntary choice - an ongoing decision to discipline your fear and reach into the unknown, away from the comforts of the familiar and safe. Each step outside of your comfort zone will stretch your limits and tolerance for fear, pain, and danger. Because when you are in a perpetually comfortable environment, understanding who you are and what you are made of becomes impossible."

"Each time you retreat, the next time you try to move forward, you will feel additional pain and suffering. If you can overcome your conditioned mind screaming at you to return to your comfort zone and simply stay the course, you will eventually be able to completely follow through on your fears. So rather than repeatedly starting and stopping, commit to totally IMMERSING yourself in your fears, refusing to back away from them until you have reached a higher level of confidence. This not only allows the process of expanding your comfort zone to be less painful, it ensures you make steady and consistent progression."

  • Unshakable Swagger by Byron Van Pelt

Lean Just Beyond Your Edge

"In any given moment, a man's growth is optimized if he leans just beyond his edge, his capacity, his fear. He should not be too lazy, happily stagnating in the zone of security and comfort. Nor should he push far beyond his edge, stressing himself unnecessarily, unable to metabolize his experience. He should lean just slightly beyond the edge of fear and discomfort. Constantly. In everything he does."

  • The Way of The Superior Man by David Deida

TL;DR: If you're too scared to approach, shy, or socially anxious; fucking read the damn post. I'm making this post for me too, so I can refer back to it whenever I need to. I promise it doesn't take long to read at all and it's easy to understand.

Anyway, I really didn't mean for this to turn into a wall of text, but if you read it especially the books quotes I'm sure you'll find value in it. Good luck with whatever your goals may be brahs.

We're all gonna make it.