So I’m kinda coming from a place of abundance and it’s not so much of a problem but more of something that I can’t find the solution to.

The long and short of it is that I can’t hook-up with women for whatever reason.

I’m early 30s on the west coast (lived here my entire life) and since forever I’ve been running into the issue of women never want to hook up or just do something for one night, instead it’s always “I really want to date you”. Again, not a “problem” per se, but definitely an issue when you’ve just ended a relationship and you don’t want to date or are moving to LA and not interested in doing long-distance.

I’ve tried everything in terms of saying I’m not looking for anything long-term right now, and I always get back the “let’s just try it” or “we can go one step at a time”. And naturally, when I acquiesce and “try it” the dates go well and things are smooth but now I’m suddenly in an exclusive relationship and I never know how to cut-it-off without hurting feelings.

To be clear, I’ve had plenty of long-term relationships and I love them, but sometimes I don’t necessarily want that. I don’t know how else to signal that I don’t want to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation besides faking being unbearable/undatable, and that doesn’t feel good. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions or even experiences with this? Again, it’s not the worst thing in the world, but I’d like to know why this is happening and how I can turn “dating mode” on and off at whim.