Anytime I’m out and about, let’s use a coffee shop like Starbucks as an example, and I spot a cute girl or sit beside one, I can’t stop thinking about talking to them. This applies to almost anything. Libraries, classes etc…

No matter how hard I try to be present and concentrate on the task at hand, I can’t stop thinking about talking to the girl in the background. I pay attention to everything that she’s doing, everything that I’m doing and tailor my behaviour to build attraction. Most of the time I can feel that these feelings and actions are reciprocated. But I do nothing. I do absolutely nothing. Why?

I’m afraid of approaching these women. Why is there fear? Is it justified? Is this fear based on me having a false image or idea of self-worth? After reading Mark Manson’s ‘Models’ and constantly striving to improve myself I notice one thing about myself. Mark’s book mentions being genuine to yourself; genuinely pursuing things that you want to do for the sake of satisfying your needs and wants. Why is it that I find that despite everything I do there are certain things that I feel are missing from my life? It’s almost as if my true self wants to shine, wants to come out, wants to approach these women, wants to reveal everything about himself unashamedly, but my shameful self holds that person back.

I think I’m getting in the way of my own happiness, and that’s an incredibly liberating yet terrifying thought at the same time. This entire time, the circumstances I have been creating for myself are based on my ‘shameful self”s unwillingness to pursue what my true self wants.

How can I start taking small manageable steps so I can get what I want and get used to being uncomfortable?