For me anger starts right behind my forehead, I contemplate something I don't like and I can feel it grow until I can almost instantly feel that pressure and it starts to hurt my head, sometimes it hurts my head and my heart simultaneously. I know you all know that feeling. That feeling of being tense even though you're sitting on the couch, that feeling of loss even though sometimes no one but yourself is lost. That feeling of having heartache and headache, feeling like no one understands you, feeling like you haven't actually changed, that feeling of reading this and identifying with it and knowing that it might be true and you just want life to change.

You want to be loved for who you are and not what you have to do in order to be loved.

You feel like you aren't getting what you want and you don't know how to get it, you might not even know what "it" is. You're working on yourself and in the process of going deep within yourself looking for answers you feel like your drowning. You're tired of thinking about trying to change, trying to improve, trying to be ascertain the ultimate version of yourself where you can finally just sit back and relax and everything around you is just the way you always thought it should be. Although go through life for long enough and you come to the inevitable conclusion where only the complacent man is acceptable with his life coming to a plateau. I don't mean mediocrity, being an accountant with 2.5 kids while it is not the life of the rich and famous is actually wonderful as long as that's whats meeting your needs and desires.

But the first step is letting go of this anger. Just let go of it because it only clouds you, it only distracts you. But worst of all.... And I do mean worst of all... It distorts your entire perspective of reality. You start to see things and interpret things that aren't actually there. You become paranoid and anxious and unable to see events and actions of people as what they actually are. You become distrustful because you don't trust yourself. You become anxious because you feel everyone is anxiously trying to get rid of you. But remember there is such a thing as a self fulfilling prophecy and if you believe something will happen for long enough it just might happen.

So what I advise.... No what I beg of you you to do is to let go of this anger. Accept you as you are right now, accept the world around you as it is right now and decide that right now you will be your best friend, and you will be your beacon of hope in this world. This can be one of those moments where you might forget 15 years from now but one that changed the next 15 years.