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[–]UTBeneVOLence 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hey man,
I know how you feel so wanted to give you some guidance. I have suffered from Generalized Anxiety and OCD for most of my life, I went to therapy two years for it, which really helped me get my thoughts in check.
I picked up game within the last few months after splitting with my long term girlfriend and I realized I had the same problem you are having now.
Short term: what you need to do is learn how to stay present (this is hard by the way) but if you can stay present in the moment during a conversation with a girl and actually listen to what she is saying, you don't give yourself the ability to get anxious as you are staying out of your head. One of the easiest ways to start this is to ensure that next time you are talking to someone, watch their mouth every now and then and mimic the words they are saying in your head, it gives you focus, plus it gives you at the added bonus of ensuring that you can actually respond in a worthwhile manner.
Long term: Three things for bad anxiety that you need to start doing from today:
Conclusion: learn presence and do things to make you love yourself (exercise) and remember that anxiety is normal, it's your brains way of getting you out of danger, it's a signal that says "I don't feel good about this, we're not safe, we need to get out of here" it's a chemical warning, except realistically there is nothing to be scared of, we aren't in a tribe anymore and we are confused as to what should generate anxiety.
Also on a last note, I still get anxiety, but I re-focussed, I know I get scared but i use that fear to drive me. My thinking is something along the lines of "That feeling means you have to do this, your scared which meas your brain is telling you, you have to do it"
Good luck, champ... Come back to me with anymore questions!
[–]ZenState11 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Great advice and what you said rings truth to me. I also suffered from Generalized Anxiety and can relate. It seems so easy now... but spending time on myself was the key to overcoming my anxiety. I spent so much of my time "out of the moment" with other people.. instead, trapped in my own head full of anxious, negative thoughts. These thoughts are a waste of time. Once I started spending my mental time on improving myself, instead of worrying about situations that were out of my control anyway, I made drastic improvements in overcoming my anxiety. I think, for me and possibly some other people, anxiety is caused by not knowing yourself.. or being disconnected from yourself. Your steps #1 and #2 are great ways to start reconnecting yourself to the world around you. Exercise teaches you about your body and meditation (I also kept a journal) helps connect your emotions to what is causing them.
[–]SWAG_DAT_HOE1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thank you very very much for this. I will take all this to heart. I recently have been trying to adopt the "fear is good and sometime to seek out" mindset too. I appreciate you taking the time to write this out. Thanks again! :)
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[–]UTBeneVOLence 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ZenState11 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SWAG_DAT_HOE1 point [recovered] | Copy Link