I'd like to talk about an interesting, possibly new approach to approaching (no pun intended). If the title of this post seems a little strange and funny, bear with me-- I'll explain what I mean by "virtue" shortly.

If any of you are into philosophy, you may have heard of Stoicism, an ancient Greek philosophy that became quite well-known back in the olden times and was even a popular philosophy during the time of the Roman Empire. Stoicism was based upon the idea that because one could never avoid pain and adversity in life, the only way to happiness was to accept what fate dealt you and live in virtue. If you're interested, I encourage you all to read "Meditations" by Stoic Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, but there's no need. Stoic philosophy, but most especially the philosopher Marcus Aurelius, put tremendous stress on the concept of virtue. In "Meditations" he makes it very clear: if an action does not come from a place of virtue, it is not a worthy action. Direct all your actions and endeavors in virtue.

The idea is to sacrifice what you feel (possibly anger, fear, jealousy, bitterness, anxiety) for virtue. Actions that come from fear, from anger, from jealousy, or whatever else are unworthy actions. Only actions that come from a place of virtue are good, and will lead to long-term satisfaction and fulfillment.

You're probably wondering what this has to do with meeting women. Well, meeting women may not have much to do with virtue in the moral, ethical sense of the word, but I believe that this philosophy can actually tie into something as mundane as talking to attractive women (if that can be described as mundane). Because when you act despite your fear, despite your shame, despite your uncertainty, and approach an attractive woman and tell her what you think about her, you effectively choose "virtue" over feelings and emotions. If you're a nervous wreck with women, you don't approach because it feels good to approach. It's not what you "want" to do. You want to go home and lock yourself indoors and watch videos of Simple Pickup or something picking up girls to get a temporary emotional high from watching something that you are too afraid to achieve. That's what feels good. Talking to women and risking rejection, humiliation, and embarrassment does not feel good. You don't "want" that. No. You don't do it because it feels good. You do it because it IS good. You don't walk up to that woman and tell her she's beautiful and you wanted to talk to her because it feels right. You do it because it IS right.

When you make that decision to approach, you consciously choose to disregard your feelings and emotions and instead do what you know is right. Not what's right in a moral sense, of course, but in the sense of what you need to do for yourself, to improve and stretch yourself, to set yourself free, to go after what deep down you know you want. When you make the decision to go talk to her, you make a conscious choice to BE better rather than FEEL better. You choose virtue--what is right-- over emotions and feelings-- what feels good.

Some popular PUA's and the like give all sorts of advice on how to psych yourself up before talking to women. Yell and scream, say stupid things to strangers, do push ups on the ground in the middle of a dirty city street in Chicago and get your hands covered in some nasty ass sewage-- do whatever crazy shit you can possibly think of just to get yourself hyper enough that you'll be able to walk up to a girl like a rambling hyena and say something ridiculous and outlandish. Personally, I don't find this particularly helpful in the long run. Why? Because it values how you feel over what you ought to do. There's simply no reason to do any of that stuff. It's unnecessary. At best, it produces a temporary emotional high and rush of adrenaline that will give you some energy for a while so that you can be in a state that is not really your calm, collected genuine self. You need to approach from lucidity and clarity. It's right here. I am right here. I am breathing. This is the right thing to do. This is simply what I ought to do. And I ought to go up to this beautiful woman and tell her exactly what I think-- that she's beautiful and that I want to talk to her. Approach with clarity and lucidity, not from a state of mind induced by rushes of adrenaline and testosterone. It is clear. The thing I have to do is right in front of me, and I am making a decision to act despite what I feel and do what is right instead. I am making a decision to BE better, not to FEEL better. To choose virtue over feelings.

This is what it means to approach with virtue.