Avoiding Awkwardness

BigBootyBear · 2015-10-27T17:48:52+00:00

To never get better.

Can you get ripped without pain? Can you become a guitar god without ripping your fingertips skin to shreds? Can you become a UFC fighter without getting the shit kicked out of you in training?

There is a saying in fitness, "If you didnt sweat it wasnt a workout". If you dont experience awkwardness, not once, not twice, but EVERY single time you go out you are not pushing yourself enough.

Awk, blood, sweat, pain - its all temporary. You missing out on progress just because of fearing awk - that shit is forever.

WayOfTheGentleman · 2015-10-27T17:34:06+00:00

If you've never done it, it probably WILL be awkward. Too bad. Accept things like approach anxiety, awkwardness and generally feeling like a fool and it gets much easier - if you try to battle these things or wait for them to not exist, you'll be waiting a long time.

SexySmexxy · 2015-10-27T21:00:56+00:00

What's the best way to avoid this?

It's gonna be awkward but the point is that after a while it won't be.

Here's a comment i posted like a year ago from here :

https://www.reddit.com/r/socialskills/comments/229hpm/get_the_same_state_of_confidence_while_sober/cgknodh

>My question is how to reach the same level of confidence without drinking???

Ok so first of you need to be logical

And you are 5x more logical sober than drunk.

Drunk you and sober you are the exact same person.

But this is the hard part, drunk you has a little bit less fear than sober you.

Which is fine, honestly it's fine, it just makes it a little bit harder to do certain things for now.

Take yourself back to any new experience as a kid.

Riding a bike, swimming, brushing your teeth alone, going to school alone.

At first it seems like an impossible, insurmountable challenge.

Then you kept at it and soon it just became... normal as fuck.

This is where you are at right now.

There is no way for me to sugar coat this, you are gonna have to go out and take a risk when it comes to having fun and confidence when your sober.

but heres the good news

Nothing bad is going to happen.

You wont be eaten, or skinned alive, maybe you'll be a bit embarrassed once, twice, thrice and then you'll kinda just be like "ok she doesn't dig me, life goes on".

Like every fear you have ever had and will have in your life.

The irrational ones are overcome by practice, every single god damned one of them from going to school on your own to waiting in the supermarket line when you are getting close to the checkout and your mum who ran off to quickly grab a bottle of washing up liquid isn't back yet.

And there is no reason to assume that you will just overcome this fear, you need to practice, and the first time it will be like time is moving slowly and the words aren't even coming out of your mouth in the correct order, and then eventually it will just be how you can hop on any friends bike, or you can jump into any body of water and know that you won't drown.

You are going to have to face your fears head on, having a wingman with you will help your progress but nothing can shield you from the fear of rejection. You just have to learn that it's really fuck all, and that even david beckham has probably been rejected in his life.

Edit

i would just like to make a small addendum that came to me when i was reading the replies

Those fears you overcame as a kid actually had inherent risks

You might have drowned when you learnt to swim.

You might have fell of your bike when you were learning

You might have been kidnapped or walked into oncoming traffic as a kid going to school

But this talking to people think, has no real risk, and that you should look to your younger self for courage and confirmation that you not only have the courage already,but that you've done riskier things at a younger age before!

XtremePeace · 2015-10-27T16:56:30+00:00

I try to not think about this. I put myself in a mental state which I expect things to be normal (as everything actually is). And I do rational, calm, self talk about. And often times it tends to be normal or I'm in better control. The intention in your mind is a powerful thing. If you think and feel you are awkward that's what you gonna be.

Another huge factor for me is abstaining from masturbation. This makes me more confortable in my own skin and I'm able to think more objectively about what's going on around me (not so self-centered) and countless other benefits.

Title	Avoiding Awkwardness
Author	slegeza
Upvotes	7
Comments	4
Date	October 27, 2015 4:36 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3qfs5t/avoiding_awkwardness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/avoiding-awkwardness.1290461 https://theredarchive.com/post/1290461

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