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Avoiding oneitis when you only have a small pool of girls...

HybridAthletics

October 22, 2012

5 upvotes

/r/seduction

Ok so there's a pretty large portion of the seddit community that's still in college, and I know some of you go to small schools. I've greatly improved at pick up now and find it fairly easy to confidently approach an HB8 or even an HB9 and not really care about the outcome, which usually leads to a good vibe and at least a #-close.

However, what I've found is that in a small school (about 1500 with below average girls in a small town) it's very difficult to not care about the outcome with one of the HB10's at the school because there are so few. This usually leads to typical oneitis type behavior which greatly lowers my rate of success.

Getting out of town and partying/clubbing at a state school helps and is always a different story for me, but what's everyone else's take/experience with this phenomenon? I know I'm not the only one out there.

tl;dr At a small school there are very few HB10's. Tips for being detached from the outcome and treating her like any other girl?

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Post Information

Title	Avoiding oneitis when you only have a small pool of girls...
Author	HybridAthletics
Upvotes	5
Comments	4
Date	October 22, 2012 3:44 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/11wecl/avoiding_oneitis_when_you_only_have_a_small_pool/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/avoiding-oneitis-when-you-only-have-a-small-pool.1341538 https://theredarchive.com/post/1341538

Comments

[–]bl1y 6 points7 points8 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Just to be clear, oneitis is when you think that this one girl is uniquely special and if you don't get her then your entire life is ruined. That's different from recognizing a scarcity problem and adjusting your game to match.

The first thing to do, since you can go to clubs out of town, is to use those out of town experiences for trying out new routines, building confidence, etc. Make the absolute most out of those opportunities, so then when you come back to your smaller community you're bringing your A Game rather than still trying to deal with the basics.

Second, run the numbers to see how many attractive girls there really are at your school. 1500 total students should mean 900 girls (assuming the normal 60% female college population). What percentage are attractive? Not HB10s, but 7+? Probably 25-35%, let's call it 30%. That means there are 270 attractive girls at your school. Assuming you're gone 2 weekends for Christmas, 1 for Thanksgiving, 2 for Spring Break (the weekend and the beginning and the one at the end), and that you lose 2 weekends to studying for exams each semester, and 1 weekend each semester to being sick/feeling blah/otherwise just not wanting to sarge, you've got 41 weekends left. 270 girls over 41 weekends is 6.6 girls per weekend. You should 1-2 new 8+ girls to try your game on each weekend. Suddenly your scarcity problem looks a little less dire.

Finally, keep in mind that this is just college. Odds are any relationship you start won't last very long. Even if you found The One, you'll probably end up moving to different places and living separate lives after graduation. Try to get the mindset that college is its own distinct little bubble isolated from the rest of the world and the rest of your life. You can't take anything with you, so all that's left is to get as much experience and have as much fun as you can while you're there, and the clock is ticking.

[–]HybridAthletics1 points 13 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

Damn. Awesome, thorough reply. Sorry for blurring the line between oneitis and scarcity.

Your math is pretty solid on the "attractive girls", and I feel like I've kinda been following that advice already as far as fun on the weekends goes.

I'm somewhat different from some of the seddit community though in that many of my best friends have girlfriends and so, while I enjoy pick up, I wouldn't mind starting a relationship at this point. I'm also Catholic and this is kinda important to me in looking for a relationship. Anyway, to make a long story short, about 1/4 of those 270 are Catholic, and even fewer are 9's & 10's.

Maybe I'm just being an ass, but there are like 3 girls that I can think of that fit all this criteria. Get over myself, or don't worry about dating and continue practicing game in and out of town?

[–]bl1y 5 points6 points7 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'd say not to discount the 7s and 8s and the non-catholics too much.

You've probably heard the saying, for every beautiful woman there's some dude who's tired of fucking her. Once you're in a relationship with a girl her looks become normalized and it's just a part of your daily life you don't pay a whole lot of attention to. Really, the only difference between an 8 and a 10 is the jealous looks guys give you. That can be fun, but it's a pretty small reward in the grand scheme of things.

As for the non-catholics, I understand have a certain set of standards for a LTR, but what about a short term thing? Being ready for an LTR doesn't mean you have to forgo everything else in the meantime. I'd really like some pizza from Adrienne's in NYC, but that's not a reason to not order Papa John's tonight.

And if nothing else, meeting and attracting a lot of women, even if you don't do anything with them, will give you more experience, build social proof, create pivots, and all the other great stuff that makes getting the Catholic 10 more likely.

[–]HybridAthletics1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link