Been away from the game for awhile, having problems with this girl. Would appreciate constructive criticism.

So to start this off I'm 19 (young I know), but I used to be pretty good with pickup. I was in a relationship and it ended badly so I stopped for like 2 years, and now I'm pretty rusty. Straight to the point though I met this girl about a month ago. She's a freshman in college, and she's a total babe. We've been texting everyday for like the past month,but it's not like "talking" texting it more like endless conversation texting. She lives on dorms in a different city so I only see her maybe every other weekend. When she comes we make out and touch and everything but when she leaves and it isn't here none of that sexual tension stays put. I know that she has plenty of other guys that she fucks with and I don't mind, but I can't ever seem to close with her. Everytime she comes to see me it seems to be something different. Either she comes with friends or if she comes alone she stays for like 15 minutes than leaves, and recently I've started losing my grasp on the situation like. I don't have as much control as she does I can't really steer things the way I want to. I think that I'm coming up on the point of no return and I'm looking to reverse it, before I actually get there. I'm just wondering like what do you think I should do? I mean when we text we use all the "babe" "boo" and everything I've tried backing off a little bit and stop giving her as much attention like texting her all day, but it doesn't work to the effect that I want. The emotional want for me with her is less and less. It's hard for me to play it right because this girl is so hard to read, after a month of talking I still don't understand what her motives are or what she want or is looking for, and I'm just like shooting in the dark. I understand the concept of sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, but I feel like there is a chance for me to move this in my favor. So what do you guys think?

[–]NilacTheGrim 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Honestly you're already pretty far in the hole with her and it's going to be impossible to "win". You said it yourself she fucks with other guys and has long texts with you. That's pretty much your role in her life. If you are ok with that, great. You aren't.

She throws you a bone every now and again by coming to see you, because she likes having you in the orbit in her life and is aware that if she doesn't do that you may end up losing interest. The fact that she finds clever ways to avoid having to spend too much 1-on-1 time with you says a lot, actually, about her priorities in that regard.

You're pretty much not going to get anywhere with her and you should just try and not give too much of a shit about her either way. Text her if you want but seriously focus on finding someone else. Your attention should be focused elsewhere (other girls).

I actually think that you are doing this to yourself intentionally. You are afraid of relationships and intensity now because of what happened to you with your ex so you found this situation for yourself that is close but far. Good but bad. You can lie to yourself that you are working on your love life and doing stuff while at the same time being in a situation that is guaranteed to go nowhere. It's "safe". Noone can get hurt right? But without the risk of pain you also don't get the reward of pleasure. Instead you live in limbo. Welcome to limbo my friend.

I think if you're going to give up on love, great -- but then do it all the way and at least make your dick happy.

I'd just work other girls and try and get your dick wet more than once a week with other interesting girls.

Unless you like being an emotional teddy-bear for one chick. Which is what you are at this point.

[–]DankSelfies[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Honestly it's probably worse then you assumed. Before I met this girl it had been at least 2 years since I even kissed a girl, I was never really trying. But since I met her and I've done all these things with her it's like brought me back out. I talk to much more women and I try to setup much more dates. My execution is sloppy to say the least and often times I find myself "waiting" for the right moment to make a move. If I do I probably fuck it up, which is all okay too me. Honestly I feel like I want to have sex with this girl just to prove that I still can. In my head (wether the thinking is right or wrong) I see it as, "if I have sex with her I'm gonna be back in the game everything will fall back into place" I'll get my mojo back lmao. But I understand where your coming from and you make many very valid points. I am playing the field, but doesn't everyone want what they can't have? I have retained the mentality of a PUA and lost most of the skills and experience to actually back it up. I guess I'm all bark and no bite.

[–]NilacTheGrim 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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