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[–]Ramen-4-breakfast 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’m not saying your wrong for wanting to be in a relationship, wanting companionship is just human nature. But thinking you NEED a relationship in order to be happy in my opinion is just setting yourself up for failure.
And I think it shows how much your actually lacking, you should have goals outside of a relationship that don’t necessarily distract you but fulfill you! Otherwise you may not realize how much pressure you’re putting on another person to make you happy.
This reminds me of those tiktok videos where you see a happy couple and then it cuts to a guy who is depressed/crying alone in his room. If you aren’t already happy with your own life than most women will be repelled by the neediness you give off, and any women you do get into a relationship won’t be able to satisfy you.
Please just take this time to work on self love!
[–][deleted] 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Ramen-4-breakfast 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Please understand, I’m not referring to unwarranted self love/self confidence.
I’m speaking of self confidence that comes from competence, from actual accomplishments. Not some “just be yourself and they’ll like you” because I followed this advice for years and was miserable because of it.
I will admit I don’t know your whole life story or who you are. I can only make assumptions. But in my own personal experience, when I was desperate for a relationship I was consumed by porn/drugs.
I only SUSPECT you are also consuming porn/drugs. I’m not saying your an addict but I suspect you may be a casual consumer. IF THAT IS YOU, I encourage you to try to break that habit. Because that is where your feeling of lack is come from!
Please take some time to discover yourself, what you like, dislike. What your good at, where you want to be. Think about the kind of girl you’d like to be in a relationship with, and then ask yourself “what do I bring to the table?”
I know in my own personal experience once I started doing the work to be the guy that girls were actually attracted to I didn’t need a relationship, I was (and still am) too focused on myself, treating my self like a work of art/work in progress. And for context I’m a 27 m, working in fabrication, and a freelance artist.
Of course I’m still attracted to women, of course a relationship would be nice. But the fact that I’m not in a relationship doesn’t bother. What really bothers me is that I’m not where I want to be yet
You may think this bullshit, and you can probably tell by the subs I’m apart of that my opinion is biased, but just give it some thought. I don’t think you’ll regret!
Peace and love!
[–]Alive-Doughnut2345 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you. You know what it is? It’s not putting the damn phone down when it’s time to sleep. You stay up too late that’ll affect your mood
[–]phantomdrive 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's not that bad at all. It gives you time to do your own thing and to grow. How's your friend circle like?
It’s terrible. I do have one good friend but that’s it
[–]deathpforte 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I honestly think that being in a relationship you'd have to take on way more responsibility, invest more time into the relationship (which leads to less free time in which you could do your thing) and you have to focus less on yourself and more on your SO.
Having someone to kiss, hug or have sex with is cool and all, but it does have its drawbacks. If you don't want those drawbacks or simply don't feel like being with anyone, then I don't see why being single sucks.
I don't know how long it has been since your last relationship - but it's similar with people seeing a baby. They like how cute they are etc etc, but they don't realize the work and sleepless nights which they force out of their parents.
Tl;dr: Don't get blinded by the positive effects of a relationship and be aware of the drawbacks. Then decide on your own wether you'd like to be in one or stay single.
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[–]Ramen-4-breakfast 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ramen-4-breakfast 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Alive-Doughnut2345 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]phantomdrive 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Alive-Doughnut2345 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]deathpforte 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link