Last night a friend of mine came over (hb 8). She's the type of girl that doesnt (currently) want a relationship and prefers casual sex with her, I suppose, more attractive friends. She was smoking and we were sitting next to each other on a couch going through my old yearbook.

Skipping ahead in the night there was this awkward, super, super awkward moment where shes asking me why i am being a dick and Im just like 'how am i being a dick?' I knew very well she was into me (well...actually i second guess myself all the time so...in reality I THOUGHT she was) and she was upset I hadnt made a move yet. Secondly, over the course of the week we had been hanging out she has been under the impression that i refused to give her my number when really i was broke and hadnt paid my bill.

Skipping further ahead it just became too intense for her so she storms out and is in her car ready to dipset before i can even say hallejuah holla back. I follow her and confess the truth about my phone and get her to come back inside.

So thats when i had to break it to her," i have to be real with you. I was gonna try and kiss you tonight and if i fucked up this would be our last night hanging out." She seemed shocked. She goes on about how she isnt ready for a relationship because she has anxiety and depression issues partly due to her father restricting her from showing much emotion. I surprised her even more letting her know i had been through a depression and used to get anxiety a lot but after exercising (ive lost over 40 lbs in the past 4 months), quitting smoking, and hanging out with friends that it went away except for rare times, like this.

She goes on how she hates how right her father is about female/male friends not being able to just stay friends and says lets give the friends with benefits thing a shot. In my excitement/anxiety i try to leave the room to take a breather bit she grabs my hand and puts it on her boobs and we start making out for a bit before she has to go. (she mentioned how she HAD to be home by 1:20 earlier in the night and we started kissing around 1:10) We walk out to the car, in my excitement i mention how happy i am, then I give her a kiss goodnight and thats about it.

So my thing is, girls find me attractive I THINK this to be true cuz of their body language, initiated kino, and willingness to hang out, but I ALWAYS fuck it up because I can never make the first move. I get in an extreme fight or flight mode/anxiety and fuck things up.

Now Im worried that I may have come off as too much of a pussy last night and while she may have been into it then, has lost interest now.

Any advice guys? I'd really appreciate it!