Hello everyone. I am a 29 year old Hispanic dude living in Fuzhou, Fujian, China. I am currently working as an English teacher for a private company.

I've been reading the sidebar and looking through some old, yet informative posts and I realized that I need to work on myself if I want to stand a chance with women. I joined a gym, loaded up Models and No More Mr. Nice Guy on my phone to re-read and have been forcing myself to go out to places and dive into social situations. It has helped and I feel like I can get to where I need to go if I keep this up.

That being said, I do have some hangups about going through with this whole process:

1) My age and inexperience

I haven't had sex or been on a date for more than seven years. I've only dated one woman in my life and it only lasted about a month. I didn't get to have the wild, carefree flings my friends back home. I didn't get to cash them in for a family like they did, either. There's nothing like seeing a former party girl with lots of notches on her bedpost be all giddy about being a wife and mother on social media. I know I should shut up about my inexperience if I ever meet someone, but I fear that my inexperience will show itself in bed or on a night out. I have no idea how to flirt. Seriously, what the hell is flirting?

See, I'm a big believer in experience when it comes to romance and sex. Having lots of partners means being in lots of different scenarios both sexually and romantically. You know what to do in the bedroom, during a romantic dinner, and everywhere else in between because you've been there before. It's like a rookie MMA fighter taking on Conor Mcgregor. The difference in experience is massive and it's the same with men and women. You know it's a fight that you can't win, especially when time is not on your side.

I know that I have work to do, but I fear that it may be too late. A lot of women tend to want to settle down in a secure relationship at this age. I don't. I want to experience "playing the field" before I even think of settling down. Besides, I don't think I am a good candidate for security when I plan to continue pursuing a career in Education when I get back to the states. Not exactly gonna make it rain here.

2) The expat scene is a goddamn shark tank

There is actually a pretty sizable expat population here in a Tier 2 city like Fuzhou. There are plenty of westerners to hang out with and do cool things with. When it comes to dating and sex, however, people tend to have a casual attitude. Most expats here only stay for about year or two, so people just have one night stands or FWB. I've had coworkers find relationships or hook up within weeks, days, even hours of getting here. I know that physical characteristics tend to matter more with casual relationships and I know what I need to work on, but I'm still incredibly intimidated by the competition. It's not hard to see other men here like that, especially when they can do things better than you. It's hard not to feel discouraged when confronted by good looking men with accents, unique talents and social skills sharpened by years of practice. These are the men I have to beat if I want a woman's attention.

Don't get me wrong, It does help light a fire under my ass when it comes to working on myself, but I fear that it won't be enough to compete out here.

It also doesn't help that I wouldn't like to be the older guy in a relationship, which would be really hard out here in China. A lot of the expat women out here are in their 20s. Personally, I like older women, because I believe dating younger women can be kinda creepy, especially if the age difference is large.

I could try dating local women. I did get some matches on Tantan (Chinese Tinder), but Google Translate can only take you so far.

Also, being Hispanic might be a hindrance out here. I am one of about 5 people in my company who is a POC. I've heard stories about brown and black guys having a harder time picking up women, especially in Asia.

3)The "Wall"

I guess this ties back to my inexperience. I can talk to women just fine and have made friends with them, but when it comes to trying to take things further, it's like I'm confronted by this wall that separates being a friend from being a possible sexual prospect. It's a wall made up of my inexperience, inadequacy, approach anxiety (on romantic/sexual terms), and a very large thirst.

Being drunk doesn't help. Sure, I turn into everyone's best friend and can be a charming and fun individual, but that wall is still there. I'm probably the only drunk in the world who can talk his way out of bed. I've talked to a couple of therapists about this before I left for China and I have made some progress, but the wall is still there.

So yeah, can I do this?

TL;DR: 29 year old expat in China, 7 year dry spell, inexperienced and feelings of inadequacy, trying to improve, can I make it, brah?