Can't get a first date

brian242 · 2016-10-22T09:46:21+00:00

First of all 2 girls flaking is nothing to worry about. Forget analysing that. When you start getting a lot of date appointments you'll learn some will flake and there is NOTHING you can do to control that, and some will show up. Just a numbers game.

Also I imagine there are things you may be doing wrong that might increase your chances the next time. This is just my opinion. I think the first girl liked you, and I think you didn't re-engage with her enough, and I imagine she was insecure about if the date was on or not or if you liked her back.

During the following week I saw her a few times and she was always smiling at me. I didn't speak to her at all or text her during this period.

Try and picture it from the girl's shoes. You're the girl, and you're flirting and texting this guy, then the guy organises a date with you, and you get excited and nervous. you like him. Suddenly after organising the date, he goes quiet. You start getting more nervous and wonder, "is this guy playing with me? Why is he quiet?" then the day comes, and you decide not to go unless maybe he communicates with you something. Or you decide to give a quick apology and say you can't make it.

^ That's just my imagination of how the girl sees it. Does that help you a bit?

'Hiya. I like you but I'm just not looking to date right now. If you want we can hang out sometime as friends.'.

I imagine this girl friendzoned you. You talked for 2 hours. she probably isn't romantically or sexually interested in you. You imagine she is more interested, and a lot of guys who get friendzoned think this. Perhaps you're projecting your own interest in her? Or perhaps you're misinterpreting friendly gestures as romantic gestures. Touching an arm is nothing. I recommend don't spend so much talking before the dates, and be a bit more sexual and physical.

leprogrammist · 2016-10-22T14:06:16+00:00

Just continue like this. Also don't be afraid of parallel dating. You make a date with two girls at the same time and flake on one (improves your karma). It feels very good sometimes to pass on stupid excuses of previous rejections ;)

devonthielman · 2016-11-30T22:38:30+00:00

I believe no matter what happen, you should assume attraction all the time and keep things cool. Maybe by cancelling their proposals you were perceived as insecure and weak. Why wouldn’t you give them another chance, now with everything at your favor? They need to make it up to you now. Also keep them as a friend could be helpful, is better than nothing...

Just as a reminder: If you assume she's attracted and she’s not, you could actually turn things around and build attraction. Act as if she's into you, and she may just be. And if she's just not into you, and will never be into you, then you got nothing to lose by assuming attraction. Worst case you're wrong, and in most cases girls like to hang out with confident guys more than insecure guys.

Andreas-Lubitz · 2016-10-22T09:46:21+00:00

I wait 10 minutes and then give her a call, she picks up, hears it's me, and puts it down.

If a cunt did that to me, I'd delete her number so fast. I wouldn't even argue further.

I'd say I'm a physically very attractive guy.

Obviously, you are not.

Title	Can't get a first date
Author	1003premi
Upvotes	5
Comments	10
Date	October 22, 2016 9:30 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/58seqo/cant_get_a_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cant-get-a-first-date.1414381 https://theredarchive.com/post/1414381

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