Can't stop watching porn.

IntotheWhale · 2017-11-14T02:13:41+00:00

My advice to you is to start keeping a daily journal just before bed. Should be the last thing you do, you may have heard that you remember what you read before sleeping is remembered better, well same principle here.

Now, the reason that you want to keep a journal is because most of your decision making is based in emotion. You see an attractive woman and you feel horny, so you jerk off. You feel ashamed about watching porn so you decide to quit. You see an attractive woman and you feel horny, etc, etc. By keeping a journal basically what you're doing is articulating your thoughts and emotions in regards to whatever it is you're trying to do, so you understand them better and can have some solid reasons for why you do or do not want to do something other than simply an in the moment emotional experience.

Now, this is how you journal should be structured:

Start with a single reason why want to quit this thing. It can be a positive reason (I want to have more motivation), or a negative reason (I don't want to feel ashamed of myself anymore), but main point is to fully articulate why that reason is important to you. How could that positive reason improve your life? How could that negative reason destroy your life?
Did you relapse today? Why do you think you did? How did it make you feel? What triggered you? What could you do in the future to make sure that it doesn't happen again? For example, you relapse when you get home and no one else is there. Make sure you're never home alone for very long.
List 3 things you did wrong today. They don't have to be associated with pornography, they can be anything. Like you didn't smile at that person you made eye contact with, or you didn't carry on a conversation with someone, or you were overly negative about something, etc. After each, write out a solution for how you could improve this in the future. The reason for this is that as a person with addiction, you're using that thing as an escape from something. Start cleaning up your life so you have less to escape from.
List 3 things you did right today. Big or small, doesn't matter. Take some time to congratulate yourself for your successes. Really revel in that proud feeling. Bottom line is you're making improvement and you deserve to feel good about yourself, period.
Spend a little time, if you have the time, just getting your thoughts out about any topic. Anything that's been bothering you, or an idea, or whatever, just write out in this section. Again, articulating your thoughts is incredibly important for fully understanding them. If you're going to skip a part, skip this one, but every once in a while just write out your thoughts on anything of importance or interest.
A final farewell to focus on the future. Talk a little about what you're so excited about in the future, about how you're making progress in your life and you're so pumped for what tomorrow is going to bring. Again, revel in the positive emotions and excitement. The reason for doing this is that you want to slowly ween yourself off of negative motivation, the stuff that you're running away from. If I'm trying to lose fat and I'm running away from the feelings of inadequacy about being fat, the moment I no longer feel inadequate I'm going to fall off. Or even worse, I'll never feel adequate and start abusing copious amounts of steroids because I never feel muscular enough. Start addicting yourself to positive motivation, to a bright vision for the future. Negative motivation can be effective, which is why you should sometimes do it at the beginning, because you need to know exactly what failure looks like. You need to know what your life will be like if you fuck up and give up. But it's unsustainable, and shouldn't be ruminated on.

Also, if you don't already, get into a meditation habit. Learning to just sit with yourself, regardless of your emotional state is insanely powerful. You can't fight a craving, you can only accept it and act accordingly. Breath through the craving and allow it to rise in your body. It may feel like you're burning, as if you're literally on fire, but eventually it'll crest and fall away. Learn how to do this, because I'm sure you're already aware of how insanely powerful the urges can be. With that being said though, make the journal you main priority. As important and powerful as meditation can be, articulating your thoughts and emotions has a much more immediate reward. Once you've got the journal habit down you can also add in another section where you give reasons for other habits you want to implement. Focus on only one habit removal, but you can focus on two habit additions while you do that.

Hope I covered everything I wanted to, but yeah, that should be a good start lol. Get that habit down and you'll see really incredible improvement. It's really quite amazing.

brianbria · 2017-11-14T01:22:59+00:00

I found after I got with a really lovely girl, and realised how bad I was at sex with her .. I stopped watching porn and going to brothels. I realised I have to go slow and be more sensual with this girl, and porn is not helping me. It's just making me this shallow, selfish, judgemental lover. So that gave me a huge kick in the ass to abstain from it.

But in your case it might not be easy to get that motivation. Perhaps go to a sex addiction group and install a porn blocker. You've got to find a strong motivation and write it down somewhere for why you don't want porn in your life.

daygamer0911 · 2017-11-14T02:04:49+00:00

The same way you get over AA

Title	Can't stop watching porn.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	November 14, 2017 1:13 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7crzw0/cant_stop_watching_porn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cant-stop-watching-porn.1436817 https://theredarchive.com/post/1436817

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