I find myself in an odd place. I am a codependent trying to adopt the abundant mentality. My whole life I've always been dealing with scarcity. I've been with I think 14 or 15 women in my life. The quality of women I've been with has gone up over time so I am progressing. However, my last relationship was a huge cluster fuck but that's besides the point.

I'm wondering for those who have gone from scarcity to abundance, how'd you do it? I definitely don't have abundance right now. The closest thing I had to abundance was a few years back where I was dating 3 different girls and decided to commit and drop the other girls. I'm pretty much focusing completely on myself, gym, career, food, I'm a homebody for the most part. Every 2 months I go to huge music festivals as my release.

I feel pretty undesirable with the opposite sex at the moment. I've always gone balls to the walls and just sleep with a girl right off the bat. However, I am finding that this isn't healthy for me or ways to find a suitable long term partner.

I have so many conflicting information as to what is healthy and what isn't. Should I address my core issues first and then worry about my relationship with women second?